Casuals sex – everyone wants it, but few people know how to get it. Well, the conundrum may be embedded in the way we even name it. Casual sex seems to imply a completely loose, risk-free, and effortless way to get your sexual desire satisfied.
This kind of face-value understanding of the term may cause some weird type of behavior, especially when men are involved.
Before we even get into where to look for casual hookups, we have to stress that picking up a woman willing to have casual sex isn’t like walking into a red-light district where you get to pick what you want and get the type of experience you want, only without paying for it. Getting a casual sex partner takes trust – otherwise, it won’t work.
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s talk about where to look for casual sex partners. We’re going to split this thing into two major categories: the real world and the digital space.
Depending on what kind of person you are and what you prefer, you might decide to go for one or the other. Some of you may even decide to go for both, just to improve your chances and see what works for you in particular.
Regardless, this is something that you are going to have patience with so avoid getting frustrated if things don’t go as fast as you imagined. Regardless of what you go for, being at your best behavior is always the goal – nobody wants an uptight casual sex partner, they have a tendency not to remain as cool as you’d want them to be.
We’re going to attempt to decipher the ins and out of both these environments and see what the advantages and drawbacks related to each of them are.
Digital Space
The online environment has become a great place for dating. Yeah, there is all this jibber-jabber about how we’ve lost touch with each other and all that other nonsense but, when it comes to dating, not everyone is comfortable sitting down for a drink with a complete stranger.
Furthermore, conversations can get quite awkward when you know absolutely nothing about each other. Social media and dating sites really help these people out since they can sit down in the comfort of their home or wherever and just chat with their person of interest.
If things go well while chatting, they can meet up and have a proper date – if not, nobody got hurt, nobody got humiliated.
But how does this work for people who are looking for something less serious and more focused on the fun side of things? Well, pretty much the same. It is also a lot easier to say that you are not looking for anything serious. Some dating websites even let you publicly share your interest in casual relationships which helps people looking for serious relationships avoid wasting their time and yours by engaging with you.
In most cases, you’ll just need a couple of good photos and the time to chat up your interests. We recommend not stretching yourself too thin when it comes to this though.
You might be tempted to go on multiple dating platforms all at once in order to improve your chances but this will most often result in half-hearted attempts with few results. Try them one at the time and stick with the one that you like most.
So what are some of the most commonly used online places to find a hookup? Let’s see.
1. Lucky App
Still, when it comes to finding a casual sex partner, you might want to steer clear of your regular social circles. This is why dating sites and apps are so popular in this kind of situation. Being that apps are very popular these days, we’re going to start you off with Lucky App.
Unlike other dating websites and apps, this one is focused on casual encounters, exclusively. The creators of the app envisioned it as a replacement for Tinder hookups and Craigslist Personal Ads and boy does it deliver. Their no-nonsense approach makes the process quick and easy.
2. AdultFriendFinder
If you are looking for a website that can help you out with casually hooking up and doing it discretely, we’d have to recommend AdultFriendFinder. The website has been around for quite a while now, started back in 1996, and they’ve been helping couples hook up successfully for decades now. You can set your preference, location, and just start browsing for your next adventure.
3. Instagram
Well, here is a statistic about Instagram that you are going to love. As many as 61% of Instagram users are between the age of 18 and 34. Quite a wide dating pool isn’t it? Furthermore, with all the Instagram stories, the photo-centric nature of the network, you are sure to find people who would work for you as a hookup option.
You can get their attention by liking some of their photos or even commenting on their stories and then it’s off to DM land. It is also a good place to show yourself off in the best light.
4. Facebook
Yes, Facebook is old but this doesn’t mean that only old people use Facebook. Furthermore, if we’re talking about social media stalking (and, yes, everybody does it) Facebook is your best bet.
You can see the relationship status (very important), a bunch of photos, their interests, statuses, music taste, everything! If you are “browsing” for a potential casual partner, Facebook is not at all a bad choice.
Real World
The traditional way of finding a hookup is going out and meeting someone in person. This usually includes visiting a social event that is a bit looser and, let’s say, party-oriented. The upsides of looking for a casual partner by going out are many.
First of all, you are far more likely to see someone you like when you see them in person. A photo never does a person justice and we tend to be attracted to more than the visual aspect that a simple photograph can capture. Posture, smell, the way someone moves, dances and so on are all things we just can’t get in the online environment.
There is also the chemistry (pheromones won’t travel through broadband) which might be the biggest factor when it comes to two people getting into bed fast.
Unfortunately, going out in search of a casual partner comes with quite a few downsides as well. First of all, you get what you see and what you’ll see in a nightclub (while being intoxicated yourself) might not be that attractive to you.
Sure, inhibitions go down but anxiety goes up, especially in a crowded and stuffy club, blaring with music you just might not be a fan of. Communication is difficult due to the noise, the crowd, and the intoxicated state you are in so it might not be a surprise that a lot of people avoid going out in search for casual hookups.
Also, you have no idea who you’re hooking up with. You just met the person and all you know about them you got from exchanges that happened on the spot.
Of course, very few people you meet are going to end up being sexual predators but the room for character assessment and interaction is limited so we feel a need to advise caution. Let’s talk about concrete places where you can meet potential casual sex partners.
5. Bars
When it comes to hookups in the real world, bars might be your best bet. The music isn’t too loud (usually), most of them have games and other entertaining activities where you can meet people, they are not too dimly lit and never as crowded as nightclubs. Still, finding the right bars can be a challenge.
For example, if you end up in a local bar that hasn’t changed since 1983 when it was opened, you might be disappointed by the hookup “opportunities” you might get being that the only people that visit these bars are local loyal customers who’ve been regulars for years.
On the other end of the spectrum stand the “elite” and “conceptual bars” that cost you an arm and a leg to get into and probably a kidney for a couple of drinks. Furthermore, these bars tend to be filled with people who believe that they are the cultural elite just because they frequent a particular bar which can be quite annoying – there are exceptions of course.
6. Clubs
Parties are events where people really let loose, dance, and expend that excess negative energy they may have. Most parties in cities go down in various nightclubs. These places tend to be quite crowded, with loud music, the bar(s) will usually be crowded too but they are places where people tend to socialize a bit more spontaneously.
Parties are also places where people hook up for one-night stands and, who knows, maybe you can turn that one-night stand into a long-term booty call.
Depending on your personality, nightclubs may work great for you or not at all. The main issues, the crowd, and loudness make it difficult to communicate and may cause problems with concentration due to stuffiness (and likely intoxication) which may slow your game down.
Furthermore, it is very easy to lose your person of interest in a crowd, so there is that too. Still, don’t stress about it and don’t expect things to go your way the first time you go out – then again, luck is a big part of it. It might be best to rely on your luck to, well, get you lucky.
7. Vacation
Vacations? Well, we might as well call them magical hookup lands of casual sex galore. Think about it, even couples that have been together for years have more sex when they escape their everyday routine. Single people go bonkers!
The fact that you are out of your regular element, that the people around you are strangers that you have never seen before (and probably never will again), and that you haven’t got a care in the world while you are off work are all things that help you relax and just talk to people. The more relaxed you are the better your chances of getting laid.
The seaside is usually the best when it comes to casual holiday hookups. The whole bikini and sweating in the Sun thing really get us going – who knew?!
These are not all the potential places where you can find casual flings. There are also cafes, pubs, concerts and a lot of other social gatherings but, frankly speaking, the above mentioned social events are those that most often work out.
Now, there are a lot more options out there when it comes to finding a casual sex partner but these are some of the most popular ways people do it. Whatever way you choose, we would like to advise you to do it carefully and with respect for yourself and the other person(s) involved.
Finding ways to pick up a casual partner is one thing, actually doing it is a whole different thing. It takes self-control, politeness (yes, it’s not all dirty talk through and through), and mature behavior so you don’t wreck your casual relationship before it even starts.
Furthermore, regardless if you are looking for a male or female partner, there’s crazy on both sides and if something starts feeling fishy, you should pass on that opportunity.
We wish you good hunting and may your partners be good in bed!
