Believe it or not, hooking up for some casual fun and hot play is simply not for all people. A lot depends on what you like, what kind of personality you have, or what you are looking for. Not all people prefer to have casual sex with people they don’t know, let alone benefit from such situations. Even if you are that kind of a person, there is a lot at stake and in question before you can start doing it.
If you are into hooking up for casual sex, there are certain things you can do to make sure that you maximize your chances of making it a pleasant experience that will stay in a nice memory and make you want to do it again. You need to benefit from it in order not to end up being harmed. So, once you decide that you are into having casual sex with persons you’ve just hooked up with, you need to make sure that those hookups are safe and fun.
You can do that by being smart about it and doing it for the right reasons. That is the only way not to regret it. Having casual sex can be quite a nice and positive experience and that is one of the main reasons why people are doing it.
When we say that you need to do it for the right reasons, there are plenty of those. First of all, having sex improves your happiness and health. Second, you will get a chance to acquire a new sexual experience. Other reasons might be that you are simply feeling horny or you are dangerously attracted to someone.
Whatever your reason might be, you always need to play it smart.
1. Be Careful with Whom You Are Hooking Up
One of the main rules of hooking up for casual sex is to always pick your partner carefully. Take your time, think about what you like and what you really want. If your choice is poor or you are doing it for the wrong reasons, you will only worsen your situation and even endanger your well-being.
There might be a lot of wrong reasons, such as believing that it was something more than just a hookup, or because your partner did that to you in the past, or simply because you just want to feel better about yourself.
If you are enjoying it, and that is what it means to be doing it for the right reasons, you have much better chances of making it a positive experience. Each time you think of it, it will bring a smile to your face and that is the only way it should be.
The only way to enjoy it is by putting your trust into a person with whom you want to hook up and the only way to start trusting someone is by knowing enough about them to make you feel comfortable.
That brings us to another important thing about taking precautions in order to make sure that your hookup is fun and safe.
2. Get to know your hookup partner well enough
Make sure that you don’t rush things. Don’t agree to anything until you know just enough to trust them because that will make you feel good about the thing that you are doing. If you don’t know anything about your partner, there might be some surprises, awkward situations, risks that you didn’t think of, or confusion about what you both want.
In order to avoid all that, it would be good to get to know your hookup date as much as possible. When there is a certain level of trust between two persons, things become much easier. It all comes down to a proper communication and two people going into what they want, like, and expect.
The conversation should be at the foundation of your casual sex adventures and hookups because that is how you make sure you get what you really want. Which brings us to a really important thing.
Be clear about what you want, but most importantly, be clear about what you don’t want.
3. Set some ground rules
Before you decide to put your trust into the hands of another, you need to make sure that they understand what you prefer, like, and want but also what you don’t want. What you don’t want should be emphasized because that will protect you from being harmed for sure.
You should always communicate what you want and especially communicate what you don’t want because that is your safety mechanism that will ensure that your casual sex experience turns out well. You want to avoid turning this into a nightmare and by stating what you want and don’t want clearly, you are making sure that it will be a beneficial one.
There is a lot of insecurity here, especially if you are doing this for the first time. A negative experience might reflect on your entire life. Let us make sure that this doesn’t happen and ensure that you have a lot of wild nights with absolutely positive outcomes. You will be able to do so only if you set some ground rules and then follow those rules. Remember, the rules are there for your safety and protection and the more you communicate with your date, the better your experience will be.
4. Be Opened about What You Want
You can’t really expect from your new partner to know your desires and needs. You have to know yourself to be able to tell what you really want or don’t want. In a way, hooking up with someone you like might reveal some things about yourself that even you didn’t know. If you are to enjoy this casual encounter, you need to introduce your partner to your body.
The only way to do it is if you explicitly say what it is that makes you tick, that rocks your boat. Be open about it, lead the way, and most of all, don’t be shy. Being shy will spoil it for the both of you.
On the other hand, the same goes for what you don’t want and like. Your partner can’t possibly know what makes you cringe. Unwanted sex, yet consensual, is a common thing in such situations and it almost always leads to feelings of distress and regret. It is necessary that you express your limits forcefully, loudly, and clearly.
5. Always be Respectful
Being casual doesn’t mean that you should treat your partner like dirt. Instead, try to be respectful as much as you can. Even though there are no strings attached between the two of you, this doesn’t mean that you have to be rude and impolite or treat them with absolutely no respect. Maybe there is no deeper emotional involvement but that absolutely doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t enjoy every moment you spend with your partner.
That means that behaviors like being sexist, arrogant, narcissistic, aggressive, and manipulative are not the way you should treat your partner. Instead, try to be caring and respectful and even adore them if you like, but remember to stay in control of your emotions.
Control your commitment if you want to keep it casual. Most of the time, casual is what suits both parties and if one partner starts being all emotional and wanting more, that might endanger your true intentions to keep it casual. After all, it was casual sex that brought you together in the first place so keep things simple and avoid any complications and sudden bursts of emotions. Make sure that you care about the well-being, reputation, consent, safety, and pleasure of your partner and expect the same treatment in return.
Care for your partner as long as you are with them but also care for them when they are not with you. If you receive an email or a call, answer, even if you don’t feel like it. Give yourself in because that will make a more memorable, fulfilling, and pleasurable experience. Remember to be genuinely respectful, attentive, caring, and passionate.
6. Have a Couple of Drinks but Don’t Get Wasted
Getting drunk or high as a kite is not the way to go when you go out on a casual date that is supposed to end with sex. No one likes seeing drunk or drugged people, let alone having sex with them. A few drinks to get your juices flowing is absolutely fine and normal, but getting drunk heavily will affect your experience and probably result in a very bad thing that you will not want to remember.
You probably won’t remember it if you get really wasted so, keep your composure, be moderate and stay in control. That is the only way to get pleasure and stay safe.
Getting wasted for casual sex probably means that your reasons for doing it are all wrong. If you are nervous, a couple of drinks will do just fine, but always remember to relax because that is the only way to enjoy yourself.
Even if you do get drunk, you will only prolong that feeling of anxiety. Leave nothing to chance and control your infatuation. When you get drunk, feelings tend to overwhelm you and you will end up saying things that you don’t think that will more likely ruin all your previous efforts.
There is also one more thing. Most people get to judge themselves and question their intentions when they get drunk.
That leads us to the next, very important thing that has a lot to do with the overall result of your casual sex.
7. Don’t Overthink, just Do it
When it’s time to get down to it, there is no room for overthinking and questioning. Either you are sure about what you want or you are not. People who are into casual sex don’t like to be left waiting when they expect something of their partners so, when it’s your time to do it, don’t think about it and just do it.
If you are having second thoughts about it, it might mean that you are not attracted to that person enough or you are not sure of yourself and the way you will perform. All that thinking takes away a lot from what is supposed to be a nice experience and an adventure that will make both of you happy.
Sex should be fun and that is one of the reasons why you are doing it. You want to feel alive, to feel different and good about yourself, and sleeping with a beautiful woman or a hot guy will definitely help you with that, even if it is just for one night.
If you start overthinking it, you will find a hundred and one reasons not to do it which will bring up your insecurities. Casual sex should always be enriching, safe, pleasurable, and fun, not about regret. Sexy, smart, and safe hookups make you feel full of life and able to do whatever comes to your mind, not to mention that it is good for your health. In case something goes bad, well, mistakes happen.
Even if your first experience goes wrong, that is just the way things are. That should not be a reason not to try it again. Remember, that is why you are setting the ground rules, to make sure that everything goes according to plan. If things do not go according to plan, but you still enjoy it, let yourself go with the flow as long as you feel good about it. Sometimes, spontaneous things are the best and that is how magic happens.
Even if you start feeling something more than just a plain sexual desire, don’t be afraid to talk about it, but only after you finish what you came to do.