Casual sex among friends isn’t something unexpected or strange. People are finding their friends as the safest casual sex opportunities for various reasons.
The most common reason for getting busy with a friend is safety, as well as the fact that it’s more comfortable to jump into bed with someone you’ve known for a while instead of a stranger. Sometimes, sleeping with a complete stranger is safer than getting busy with a friend. There are a lot of risks, especially if you are having sex with a person who means something to you.
Although there are a lot of pros and cons related to sleeping with a friend, we’ve prepared a mini-guide to explain why you should be extra cautious when choosing casual sex partners!
Why is ‘friends with benefits’ sexual relationship that often worldwide?
Among the sea of acquaintances, we are having sex with our friends again and again. Although this sounds odd, it’s true. The fact that we know our acquaintances enough to have safe casual sex with them, having a friend with benefits seems more attractive.
“I’m sleeping with my friend because I’m scared of STDs” isn’t a sufficiently convincing excuse. We live in the 21st century, which means that we have a lot of ways to protect against sexually transmitted diseases. Regardless of whether we are choosing to have sex with strangers or our best friends, sex with protection is equally safe.
Now when we overcame the most common excuse, it’s clear that something is exciting about sleeping with a friend! There are a lot of the hidden reasons for having a friend with benefits, even if we aren’t ready to admit it!
The “friends with benefits” relationship status is located somewhere in between one-night-stands and sex in a long-term relationship, which makes it popular among students and young people. Moreover, this phenomenon also occurs among mature people who are looking for life-long partners later in life.
“Friends with benefits” relationships have two main purposes. The first represents a “trial relationship”, which might be helpful for determining if we are compatible with our friend for a long-term relationship, which is okay.
The only problem related to this topic is that you probably won’t stay friends if you aren’t compatible enough to have something more serious. The second purpose of a “friends with benefits” relationship can leave more serious consequences since in this case, two friends are getting busy only until something better comes along.
With all of that in mind, we have to ask ourselves is having a friend with benefits is worth the sacrifice?
The disadvantages of such a relationship
Although such a relationship can be exciting and interesting, there are more disadvantages than advantages. Although casual sex is healthy and inspiring, having a friend with benefits differs more than you expected. We’ve prepared a list of possible disadvantages in case your no-strings-attached relationship with a friend doesn’t succeed.
A casual sex relationship shouldn’t be based on emotions
If we are talking about a real friend, not an acquaintance, the possibility that you don’t have mutual feelings doesn’t exist. An emotional base is crucial for developing a long-term relationship, but having some feelings for a casual sex friend will inevitably hurt you both in the end.
Casual sex is all about fun and pleasure, which means that there is no space for feelings or even love. If you can say that you don’t kind of love your casual sex friend, that’s okay, but we can’t believe you. In the case of a breakup, things will become more complicated than you can assume.
Let’s see what science has to say. The University of Louisville in Kentucky conducted a survey in which about 1000 students with ‘Friends with benefits’ experiences participated. About 50% of respondents said that they are closer to the friends than before the “benefits” part started. But unfortunately, about 30% said that they didn’t stay in touch with their friends with benefits after the breakup.
Jealousy will become your worst enemy
Since friends usually share a mutual past, you’ll know everything about your friend with benefits before you hook up.
Past relationships or even the fact that your friend is sleeping with someone else during your adventure might hurt you. Since casual sex isn’t a real relationship, sleeping with other people isn’t considered cheating. The situation with friends with benefits isn’t much different. Sleeping with other people is allowed.
As we mentioned above, feelings involved in your relationship might develop into issues and problems. The physical attraction between friends might become a problem if you don’t overcome jealousy, which will appear sooner or later.
Since you are sharing more than a bed, your mutual circle of friends might become the source of stories you don’t want to hear, especially if you are keeping your adventure a secret.
Your mutual circle of friends might be critical-minded
Keeping a relationship secret is incredibly interesting, and that’s another reason for hooking up with a friend. The presence of a mystery and continuous hiding might increase your sexual desire, and spice your relationship up even more. The only problem is that it won’t last for long. As soon as your friends become suspicious, all the magic will disappear.
There are only two possible outcomes:
- Your circle of friends will accept that the two of you are getting busy from time to time.
- Your secret relationship will have a negative impact on your entire circle of friends.
The first solution will encourage you even more because our friends’ opinion has a strong influence on us. If your circle of mutual friends finds your sexual relationship exciting and cute, you have nothing to worry about, for now.
The second solution might be a trigger for the problems in your relationship, which means that you’ll probably stop seeing each other or even have a quarrel. If your friends are critical about your casual sex relationship, their behavior is excused.
After a difficult breakup, you might divide your circle of friends into two groups. If your friends think that you are guilty for messing things up, you might find yourself looking for new friends.
Whatever happens, your relationship might leave permanent consequences!
How to overcome issues and enjoy casual sex with a friend?
Now that you’ve seen all the possible issues and problems, and you still want to enjoy an erotic adventure with your sex buddy, that means that your mutual attraction overcomes everything rational.
Anyhow, if you still want to have sex with your friend, nothing will stop you now. We also thought about this possibility, and that’s why we prepared some tips to improve your “friends with benefits” experience.
Take advantage of your acquaintanceship
If sleeping with a stranger makes you uncomfortable, your sex buddy can help you achieve all your sexual fantasies. Since both of you are looking for adventure, make sure that you are getting everything you need. A casual sex relationship, whether it’s with a friend or a stranger, as the primary goal is mutual satisfaction.
Since friendship is a good foundation for an honest relationship, you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable to share your sexual needs with your friend with benefits. No matter how kinky and weird your desires are, if you are both satisfied in bed, you’ll achieve the greatest pleasure.
Agree to keep it sexual, not emotional
Before you develop a complicated “friends with benefits” relationship, have a serious conversation. Since having feelings for a casual sex partner isn’t the best possible solution, promise one another that you’ll talk if deeper feelings appear. That way, you’ll be able to find a way to deal with it, and no one will suffer.
This tip significantly divides a casual sex relationship and a “friends with benefits” relationship, since talking about feelings with a casual sex partner usually isn’t recommended. The main advantage of having a fuck buddy is that you can be honest and comfortable enough to talk about anything.
Don’t force the development of something more serious
If you are full of expectations, it’s possible that your friend with benefits will disappoint you. If something serious develops, it’s even better, but if your deal is to keep it casual, then keep it casual. If it’s meant to be, you’ll fall in love and become the most suitable couple ever, but you aren’t here to search for love – you’re here to enjoy all the advantages of a casual sex relationship.
If you are forcing something more serious, you might reject your friend with benefits and ruin all the fun!
Keep your intimacy to yourself
We already mentioned that involving other people in a relationship can ruin everything. With that in mind, you should keep your intimacy to yourself. If you talk to friends about the details from the bedroom, the word might spread, which will cause various uncomfortable situations.
Adhere to the primary rule of a successful “friends with benefits” relationship – what happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom.
Discuss how it’s going to end
Although things might get out of control, a good plan is a framework for further engagement. Whether your goal is to share a trial period before you develop something more serious or you just want to have fun until your “meant to be partner” appears, you must talk through everything. If you have a plan to stay friends no matter what happens, you’ll probably stay friends.
Another survey showed that 57% of people worldwide had sexual intercourse with a friend. Although this is less than we expected, there is a possibility that not all of the other 43% were honest. Besides, more than 50% of respondents said that a “friends with benefits” relationship satisfied their sexual needs.
Unlike causal sex relationships, friends with benefits spend a lot of quality time together. As a survey shows, only 15% of fuck buddies think that their relationship is only sexual, while others cuddle after sex, chat, go out on dates, visit romantic restaurants, talk about their friends, discuss birth control, talk about family, and even talk about STDs.
As science has shown, having a friend with benefits isn’t unhealthy.
Regularly test for STDs and STIs
Although sleeping with a friend sounds like a safe idea, the possibility that your friend is sleeping with other friends or random people still exists. Unlike long-term relationships which are based on commitment, casual sex can bring a lot of risks.
Sometimes, protection isn’t safe enough, so you should visit a doctor and get tested for STDs and STIs from time to time. Risky sexual intercourse without condoms and sex under the influence of alcohol and drugs can increase the possibility of transmission of sexual diseases and infections, even if you are sleeping with a friend.
Having a friend with benefits sounds safer than sleeping with strangers, but even if you are sure that your friend doesn’t have any STDs, you should talk openly.
Moreover, don’t forget to talk about birth control, since it would be hard to explain to your kid that it’s a fruit of a beneficial friendship!
The bottom line
Since there is a significant possibility that you’ll ruin your friendship after casual sex, you should choose your friends with benefits wisely. If someone is very important to you, don’t sacrifice your friendship for sex. If you are sure that a possible sexual adventure is worth losing a friend, then be careful and try to apply all the listed tips.
As long as it is safe and fun, you should enjoy casual sex even with your best friend. We wish you a lot of luck with this!