Young people more often choose casual sex than long-term relationships. Casual sex seems strange to some older generations, but teenagers and adolescents frequently prefer this kind of fun. A fast lifestyle has an abnormal impact on our sex life too.
Because of the number of daily chores that we’re facing all the time, we aren’t able to relax and dedicate some time to ourselves. Since young people don’t have a lot of free time, you’ll agree that this period of life isn’t the greatest for investing a lot of time into life-long relationships.
The average age of people who are getting involved in casual sex relationships is between 20 and 30. This data is essencial for this story because young people are usually very busy in this period of life. Some of them are in college, and others are at the beginning of their careers.
Practice has shown that life-long relationships started in college or earlier usually don’t last long. Maybe that’s the reason why people are increasingly choosing casual sex relationships.
However, casual sex is fun. If we ignore the opinion of people who aren’t familiar with the benefits of casual sex, there’s a lot of space for exploring and learning.
Safety first – have fun but choose safe sex
The level of adrenaline caused by the risk that frequently changing partners brings may sound exciting, but you have to be aware of possible problems that may appear.
The most common problem that arises during the period of frequent casual sex relationships with different partners are sexually transmitted diseases. To avoid STDs, always use protection. Don’t be afraid to visit a doctor from time to time and get tested.
Another common problem caused by unprotected sexual intercourse is an unwanted pregnancy. Sometimes, condoms aren’t enough, so consider taking birth control pills.
As numerous studies have shown, a majority of young people, often over 50-60% of respondents, said that they engaged in casual sex. Interestingly enough, even a great number of more mature individuals and even senior citizens reported that they often engaged in casual hookups when they were back on the dating scene. Since this is such a common occurrence, safety becomes the number one priority.
One-night stands can be frustratingly unfulfilling and awkward
Concerning one-night stands, you’ll probably give up after a few sexual encounters with complete strangers. For starters – you’ll never be satisfied enough because a stranger who you invited for sex can’t know what you like. You’ll never be able to experience that level of pleasure compared with sexual intercourse with someone who knows you a little bit better.
Another problem concerning one-night stands is that you’ll never be relaxed enough to tell your random partner what to do to make you feel better. After you realize that you’ve spent a lot of time in bed with someone who isn’t able to give you the pleasure you need, your sexual intercourse will probably end up with a fake orgasm. After a few fails with partner selection, you’ll be entirely disappointed.
A relationship and quick one-night stands are not the only options
Since you are a college student or at the beginning of a career, we agreed that you don’t have enough time for something more serious.
So, we have to agree that you belong to a regular group of people who want to enjoy themselves but don’t want to get attached. Since you probably aren’t able to even move your hairbrush to make enough space for your partners’ personal belongings, not to mention that you’ll never sacrifice your drawer full of unnecessary little things for your partner, you aren’t ready for a long-term relationship.
Since one-night stands can’t provide you pleasure, which is the most important thing at this moment, and you can’t find yourself in a serious relationship, let’s find a solution between something insignificant and something incredibly involved.
It’s all about casual sex relationships
Casual sex relationships bring something unreal. Your partner knows you well enough to make you be satisfied, but you aren’t in a relationship. Your partner might send you a couple of messages at 3 am if get drunk or just if want to get laid, but that’s all. The relationship without obligations sounds perfect, right?
The only communication when you aren’t together will probably be reduced to ”Let’s meet at my place in 30 minutes” or ”I’m sorry your parrot ran away”. The second situation looks like intimacy, but you shared an Insta story looking for help. What’s on Instagram stays on Instagram, remember? You just have to survive this basic level of intimacy.
This way you can enjoy sex anytime you want, but you don’t have to worry about feelings and commitment. Since you’ll never be in a position to go on family gatherings or meet your partner’s friends, the problem might appear only if one of you requires more attention.
When you set some ground rules, your casual sex relationship might last for years without obligations, commitment, and emotions.
Get to know your partner thoroughly before sexual intercourse
You don’t need to know your partner’s favorite movie, but try to find out some basic pieces of information. When you meet someone at the party at 3 am and decide to leave together, be careful. You can’t know who that person is. Maybe you just met a maniac. You should learn not to trust strangers at first glance before getting involved in one-night stands.
When you make sure it’s safe, invite your eventual partner to your apartment because it’s more comfortable on well-known territory.
Drink but don’t get wasted
Students usually want to investigate their sexuality after a couple of drinks at the college party. Under the influence of alcohol, people are ready to leave their comfort zone and experiment with something different.
If you are sure that you need something to boost your self-esteem and make you try new things, you can drink a beer to relax. Indeed, numerous doctors have said that a glass of wine or beer from time to time isn’t harmful.
So, if you need something to help you relax, you can drink at the party, but it’s important to set some limits. If you get wasted and decide to have a one-night stand, get ready for an inevitable catastrophe.
The first problem that might appear is that you probably won’t remember what you did last night. Imagine the awkward situation if you bump into your no-strings-attached partner the next day. Since a large amount of alcohol was responsible for your actions, you’ll probably be embarrassed.
Another problem that might appear is that you’ll get embarrassed during the sexual intercourse. Also, your reputation as a good lover might disappear.
Choose random hookups over a friends-with-benefits arrangement
As a young sexually active human being, you’ll probably have sex only with your acquaintances or with friends of friends. If you choose a friend for some casual sex, that might result in you losing a good friend.
If you involve feelings into a casual sex relationship, it can lead to hurt feelings, anxiety and even depression. Since you probably care a great deal about your close friends, your friend with benefits or even you might get hurt after your casual sex relationship ends.
There are a lot of studies about how casual sex affects our mental state. The conclusion of some of these studies is that casual sex doesn’t have a higher risk for harmful psychological outcomes in comparison with students who are in long-term relationships.
Other studies, however, claim that casual sex in college students has an abnormal harmful effect leading to depression and other negative mental states.
All in all, casual sex is harmful only for people who involve emotions in no-strings-attached relationships. To enjoy a casual sex relationship, just look for hookups outside your close group of friends, e.g. through online hookup apps or the local bar scene.
Consider the idea of the open relationship
If balanced casual relationship sounds too unrealistic, you might want to look for another solution.
An open relationship can be a good way to get both the emotional support you need and still have exciting new sex encounters. Open relationships work more like casual sex relationships, but with feelings. The only problem is that you might become jealous because an open relationship implies that both of you can sleep with other people. But the solution to this problem lays in trust.
How to make an open relationship work
So, this sounds complicated, but I’ll try to explain. You can do everything that real couples do together. You can go on vacations together, engage with each other’s families and friends, going to movie theatres, and on romantic dinners. For now, it sounds like a healthy relationship, but if one of you gets bored or needs some new experiences, sleeping with other people is allowed.
I can’t say that you are allowed to cheat because the sex you have with other people mustn’t include feelings. So, let’s say that an open relationship is a relationship that allows casual sex relationships with other people.
If a relationship with your no-strings-attached partner suddenly got complicated because you developed certain feelings for each other, maybe saying goodbye isn’t the only option. Consider an open relationship as a solution and try something entirely new.
This way, you’ll boost your sexual experience and make both of you feel more satisfied. Also, learning something new from other partners might make your relationship stronger. If nothing else, your mutual trust will be unbelievably increased.
To avoid collateral damage that might happen if you don’t stick to the rules, avoid questions like “Where are we going with this?”
Focus on having fun right now – marriage can wait
Casual sex relationships can work only if both of you respect each other. Don’t let emotions fool you because, at this moment, the only important thing is your mutual pleasure. Don’t get trapped into something more serious because you still aren’t ready for it. Marriage and life-long relationships will happen naturally when you least expect them.
Be patient because you have your entire life in front of you, so you’ll definitely experience love and other emotions that serious relationships bring. Now is the time for experimenting and investigating your body and sexual needs. As long as it’s safe, you can do what you want and what makes you satisfied and happy.
Our critical-minded society will probably disapprove of your acts, but who cares? You are your own boss, so enjoy casual sex over and over again if that has a good impact on your self-esteem and well-being.
Marriage also brings a lot of fun and great sexual experiences, but on another level. Life-long relationships are mostly based on emotions and deep feelings, which implies a more complicated relationship. There will be enough time for that but, for now, just have fun following your desires. You should wait to become more emotionally mature for a true life-long relationship.