The hookup culture of the 21st century has given us a lot of liberty in our self-exploration and experimentation. Casual sexual encounters are becoming a norm, they are no longer reserved for just a few curious individuals brave enough to seek them. We can all reap the benefits of casual sex and have fun along the way.
Now, when it comes to casual sex, there are a few different kinds, and they all have their pros and cons. It all comes down to the individual, what others enjoy – you might not. So, have a look at the different types of hookups and take your pick.
When venturing into the world of casual sex, a one-night stand will most likely be your first stop. It’s a go-to option for young adults exploring their sexuality, and for people seeking extramarital sex without consequences. As the name implies, it’s usually just a one-time thing – without commitments, without relationships.
Most often you will never see that person again, or at least you’ll never have sex with them again. Your one-night stand partner can be a complete stranger whom you’d just met an hour ago, or it could be an acquaintance you’re not committed to, and as long as everything is consensual, it can be a great experience for everyone involved.
Just have in mind that, as with everything, there are advantages and disadvantages when it comes to one-night stands. One of the most troubling things for people is the awkwardness of the morning after. How should you behave? Should you sneak out in the middle of the night? Wait for breakfast? You might start worrying about STIs, or what your family and friends might think about you.
Even though casual sex is becoming more widely accepted, there are still those struggling with the concept. In our society, it’s usually more difficult for women to escape judgment and criticism, and that can eat away at you!
So, before you give in to desire, think about the end results. One-night stands are normally unplanned, spontaneous, but give yourself a moment to decide if it’s something that you really want to do. For some people, the “casualness” of one-night stands is too much, and they might want to get emotionally invested. It’s tricky business! But there are some ways that can help you do it right.
It’s always best to do it sober. You are less likely to regret your decisions, and it will be easier for you to communicate your desires, have a better time, and make the experience more memorable! Studies show that a lot of men and women don’t feel satisfied with their one-night stands. That’s why communication is key!
Since you will most likely never see that person again, you can experiment without shame and have fun in ways you couldn’t before. Tell your one-night stand what you want to do, tell them what feels good and what doesn’t. It’s extremely important to be open about what you want, so talk to your partner, let them know what your expectations are. Besides communicating about different positions and techniques, it’s also important to communicate your feelings. As in – you want everyone to be on the same page about the meaning of your encounter. If you’re looking for a one-night stand, your partner should know it, and vice versa.
Friends with Benefits
We’re all familiar with the friends-with-benefits, or simply FWB, arrangement. You know what it is – basically a fuck buddy that you are not really emotionally attached to! This type of relationship can act as your stress reliever and can serve to take the edge off when you’ve had a rough day, but many people get it wrong from the start, and it quickly turns into your worst nightmare if you don’t handle it correctly.
So, before you enter this type of arrangement, and during the entire course of it, there are a few things you should always keep in mind.
The first thing you should do is have an introspection! If you want your FWB-ship to work out, it’s best to start it when you’re at a good point in your life. What does that mean? Well, it simply means that you are emotionally stable, you’re not looking to fill a hole in your life, you’re not seeking validation. Your friend with benefits should be there just for sex, no strings attached.
You should both be interested only in having a good time with each other, so if you’re having problems in your life, don’t look to your FWB for support, call a best friend or a parent for that. The easiest way to ruin a perfectly good friends-with-benefits arrangement is to bring emotional baggage to it. You might be thinking “But they are my FRIEND with benefits, I should be able to talk to my friend about my problems”. Technically, you’re not wrong, but let’s take a closer look at that “friend” part.
Many people make a mistake when choosing the person that they want to be fuck buddies with. A lot of us go for a close friend, but that’s actually the worst thing you could do. Things can become confusing and complicated if you add sex to your friendship, and it’s easy to lose a good friend this way.
So, stay away from having this type of relationship with best friends, coworkers, or exes. They are too close to your social circle and can bring drama into your life. There are no benefits in that! A perfect candidate for an FWB-ship would ideally be an old friend whom you rarely see anymore. You still have that shared history and connection, but they are no longer a part of your life, and you can easily end things with them when you want.
And to have a successful friends-with-benefits relationship, it’s crucial to be open about it from the start. You both should enjoy this arrangement and know not to expect something more from it. It’s all about casual fun with someone you trust. And hopefully, by the end of it, you’ll still have someone you could call “a friend”.
Now, booty calls are just in between one-night stands and friends with benefits. Your booty call is a person that you occasionally call just for sex, but have no relationship with whatsoever outside the bedroom. It’s a perfect arrangement for people who are sexually attracted to each other but are not interested in having a romantic relationship.
It’s also not as awkward as one-night stands, because you have more time to get to know each other physically. This arrangement is there to make you happy, so don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. Just be open, say what they’re doing right and what they’re doing wrong, the advice will most likely be appreciated, and you both get a chance to learn and improve.
Booty calls are perfect for experimentation, role-plays, and making your wildest fantasies come to life. It’s a judgment-free zone where you and your partner can do whatever the hell you want!
Now, as with friends with benefits, a similar rule applies to your booty calls – no good friends, no people from your social circle! You want your casual sexual relationships to make your life easier, not harder. So, a good booty call could be an acquaintance, a stranger you met through an app, or even your one-night stand.
A one-night stand is actually perfect because if you’ve done it once, it’s easier to do it again. Just be clear on the rules. Both you and your partner should know that this is just a sexual relationship, nothing more, nothing less. If either of you starts developing feelings, if you notice you’re becoming jealous when you see them with someone else, if the “relationship” is becoming difficult – it’s time to end it.
Your booty call should be a spur of the moment thing, exciting, always keeping you on your toes, and always fun, so don’t bring any emotional drama into it.
It’s also very important to keep your options open. The best way to keep your booty call just that is to keep seeing other people. Just because you are having great sex with your booty call doesn’t mean you’re off the market. You can still enjoy going on dates and meeting new people, just remember to stay safe!
And speaking of staying safe, it’s the responsibility of both of you to have protection at hand. Since booty calls are spontaneous, it’s important for both of you to be ready at any given time. You don’t want to be surprised in the middle of your make-out session when you find out neither of you brought protection.
Other Casual Sex Options
When we’re feeling particularly lonely, or just horny, calling an ex for some casual sexy-time seems like a good idea. But there are some things you need to clear up before you get into it. The whole meaning of casual sex is that you get all the pleasure without any of the pain. That means your feelings are never at risk of getting hurt, and having sex with an ex can really mess you up.
If you’re hooking up with an ex in an attempt to rekindle your relationship, it will not end well for you. So, make sure you’re both emotionally detached before you jump into bed together. Now that your emotions are out of the way, casual sex with an ex can bring you many benefits.
Since we sometimes tend to over-idealize our exes, casual sex with them can clear everything up in our minds and make the reason for the breakup even more clear. It can also offer security that one-night stands cannot. You have a sense of familiarity with your ex, so it could be easier for you to relax during the act, and you can orgasm more easily as well.
Blast-from-the-past sex can be adventurous and exciting. It refers to casually hooking up with a person from your past, someone from your hometown, or maybe a high school crush. It can act as your stress-reliever during the holidays when you visit your hometown. You don’t have to worry about commitments and feelings because you’ve moved away and are very unlikely to see them again, so you can relax completely and enjoy the experience to the fullest.
While we mostly think of casual sex as something for the single people out there, more and more married couples and those in committed relationships are seeking the thrill of it. If your sex life with your partner is becoming too predictable and maybe even boring, a threesome can spice things up for the both of you.
It can be scary at first, and you might be worried that this can hurt your relationship rather than save it, but if you have open communication with your partner, a threesome can make all your dreams come true. As always, know your reasons for wanting this.
If you have a crush on someone but don’t want to cheat on your spouse, a threesome with this person is just a disaster waiting to happen. Keep the emotional detachment and invite a third person into your bed as an act of sexual exploration and a way to connect with your partner. It can be a fun experience for both of you if you keep an open mind and give in to desire.
Casual sex has many forms, and many advantages. It may not be for everyone, but you don’t know whether you like something until you’ve tried it! It’s proven that sex brings you many health benefits, and keeping it casual might be just what you need right now. A lot of us don’t have time for actual relationships today, and while they are often fulfilling, they are time-consuming and can be exhausting.
So just because you’re single, be it by choice or by circumstances, it doesn’t mean you have to be celibate. Enjoy all the benefits of sex, without the hassle of emotional attachments.