Casual relationships can be difficult. On paper, they are simple, but it’s the people that ruin them and get too involved. The rules for casual sex exist for a reason and they shouldn’t be broken in any way. As a woman looking to get into the casual culture, you will have to learn many things, probably even more than men, as casual sex is harder for women than men.
This is simply because seeing casual women who are open about it and admit that they have sex with different guys on a regular basis is still frowned upon.
No matter if your into a hookup, a casual sex relationship, friends with benefits, or you feel that it is something new and magical that will last for a long time, you need to understand guys and what they want before continuing further.
If you are looking to find a causal relationship that works for you, its important to find the right partner and avoid scaring him away with mistakes that aren’t tolerated in the casual sex land. So let’s see what men look for in their partners in casual relationships.
Someone Who is Good at Sex
There is no way around it, sex is the single most important thing when it comes to casual relationships. Everyone is in this for the sex and if the sex isn’t right, most guys will look for what they need elsewhere, and it’s their right completely. Many women also approach the whole thing in a similar way, as it is their right to pursue their sexual needs.
Guys want women who know their way around the bed and who can please them. This is especially true for men who’ve been dating casually for a long time. They had their fair share of sexual partners and tried out many things, so most of them don’t want to waste time on bad sex.
It goes both ways, both genders like good sex and want their sexual partners to put in the effort. For experienced guys who’ve had sex many times, just lying down on the bed and spreading your legs isn’t going to do it, as they’ve seen much more than that.
Someone Who Isn’t Up in Their Business
For a lot of women, it can be difficult to separate emotions from sex. Some people simply aren’t used to being in purely sexual relationships and they cross the line instantly. Guys who are hooking up aren’t looking for anything serious, and if they are, they aren’t looking for that with you, this is just the harsh truth.
In 99% of situations they won’t tolerate when a woman is telling them how they should live their lives, what they should change about themselves, and so on. They want to have a clean sexual relationship without talking about anything important so they can simply relax and unwind.
The reason why men go casual is because they want to avoid all the difficulties that come with committed relationships and if you bring that into your relationship, chances are you won’t ever see him again. They don’t think that you have the right to change their lifestyle just because you had sex.
They Want a Partner Who will Know Her Boundaries
As we mentioned earlier, boundaries are extremely important for a casual relationship to work and guys are pretty simple about this – they are looking for someone who will follow the rules and they are good to go. However, the difficult part can be to understand what all the rules are and how you need to approach the relationship.
At the same time, every guy is different and he will have some rules of his own that he prefers. Guys want someone that won’t get up in their business, won’t call them all the time or share information that’s too personal, and won’t push the casual relationship into serious waters.
Men want a partner who will know when to hit them up with a message or respond to their messages when needed, have clear and simple communication, and good sex without any emotions – it’s as simple as that.
He doesn’t want to know how your day has been and doesn’t want you to write him constantly, even if he seems like wants to, he is probably pretending and just being polite.
A Woman who Will Deliver Everything She Talked up when Sexting
I really don’t like sexting and many women have the same opinion, but if you are into this and you like to express yourself sexually in this way, then go for it. However, you can’t be all talk and no walk, as he will remember what you talked about and maybe even be particularly excited about something you mentioned.
Sexting can be a good way to build up sexual tension and make the whole thing even more exciting, but you will have to deliver what you promised. Bear in mind that you are raising the expectations with sexting for both of you, and each side will develop certain expectations after this.
It can be a double-edged sword, your night might be even better due to the sexually charged energy, or you might end up completely disappointed with no expectations met. So when sexting, make sure that you don’t promise anything you can’t deliver and you will be fine.
Someone Who Doesn’t Bring Their Personal Drama with Them
Just as guys don’t expect any casual sex partner to get emotionally involved and start acting like they are in a relationship, they also don’t want their fuck buddies to bring their personal issues with them. It might sound insensitive, but men don’t care about what is bothering their fuck buddies, and neither should you.
Tight schedules, busy lives, or a simple lack of emotional energy have led many people into casual dating waters for the same reasons – they want to have great sex while not being pressured with anything important or complicated. When someone brings their person problems along, this is exactly what they are doing and guys don’t like this.
Not only are women who do this putting themselves in an awkward situation where they are talking about their personal issues in a place where they shouldn’t be, but they are also putting the other person in a tough spot.
Guys will either pretend to care and never talk to that girl again, or they will tell them everything on the spot and hurt them.
Someone Who is Honest
Nobody likes being lied to, but in this case, honest and open women get the most attention from men.
Simply put, women are almost never completely open and transparent when they are dating – there are stages in which the relationship slowly develops and they stop being secretive over time. With hookups, most women don’t have this barrier and they are direct and honest.
They will tell the guy what they want, what they like, and how they want it. For many guys this is a big turn on and they simply go crazy about this kind of woman. Additionally, given the fact that there are no feelings involved, most guys will take it better when women are criticizing them here.
A lot of them will actually be attracted to a woman that cuts them no slack and lets them have it every time. This kind of tension and sexual aggression can be a great recipe for amazing casual sex that both of you will remember for a long time.
They Want Someone Who is a Bit Romantic
Most guys will say that they aren’t looking for any romance in their hookups but they are lying. They need romance as much as women do and just because you are fuck buddies doesn’t mean that you can’t use this opportunity to add a bit of romance. If a woman leaves the bed and goes home as soon as the sex has finished, that guy left behind will feel insecure and used.
Then again, he won’t ever admit it because men are simply men, but he wouldn’t feel well about it. This is why guys like women who will initiate a bit of romance, cuddling, and some sweet talk so that they can tune in on the whole thing and pretend like they are doing it just because “the ladies want it”.
This is a perfect excuse for them to be romantic and “vulnerable” as well while not having to wound their big male ego. Of course, you are just having fun and looking to enjoy sex, nobody is telling you to buy flowers, candles, and talk about your deepest feelings, but you can have a few cute and fun moments after sex.
Someone Who Knows When It’s Time to Leave
This one is equally important to both men and women. Nobody wants to waste more time than they should on their hookup. If you brought a guy to your place, you don’t want him hanging around the whole day, as you have other things to do.
On the other hand, you aren’t in a relationship, so why spend so much time together? (Unless you are having sex, of course). This is equally annoying for men. If you came to his place, you had sex, you got your shower and maybe you even ate something, it’s time to leave.
There is no reason to stick around and make the situation awkward. Remember that this is all about sex and that you shouldn’t spend too much time together, apart from the sex part. If you want them to follow the rules and leave on time, do this yourself as well and avoid looking clingy.
A Girl that Is Sure About What She is Doing
One of the worst things that could possibly happen to guys when hooking up is to realize that the girl is having second thoughts. No guy will want this to happen to him, as it is a completely awkward situation, especially if the date was going well. Some guys are so horny that they will try and convince the girl that what they are doing is right.
On the other hand, there are guys who will find this to be a total buzzkill and they will instantly give up on the whole thing. This is why you need to clear things up with yourself before you start hooking up and looking for casual sex opportunities. Make sure that this is, in fact, what you really want and that there aren’t any second thoughts in your head.
Not only will the guy you are hooking up with be able to feel this, but it will also affect you and even make you unable to perform. Yes, this can happen to girls as well, especially if you are unsure about what you’re doing.
A Girl that Brings Protection
No matter what you might be thinking, there are a lot of guys out there who want to enjoy casual sex in a safe way. This means having sex with a condom, because this is the only real way to protect yourselves from potential STDS and unwanted pregnancy. In the past, our culture has somehow made buying condoms the guy’s obligation, but why?
Just because he’ll be the one actually wearing it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have some with you as well. At the same time, it is in your interest to have a backup in case he forgets, as you have equal chances of getting an STD as he does.
Sometimes it can be difficult to control yourself in the heat of the moment and you simply stop caring about protection, and this is something you can’t allow to happen. Make sure that you always have protection with you, as this will show him that you care about protection as well.
These are some of the things that most men usually like when it comes to their casual sex partners. It’s important to know and understand them, but at the same time, don’t let someone treat bad or show you no respect just because you want to have sex with them. Remember, with casual relationships it’s easier to say no and walk away, as there are many others waiting for you around the corner.