The internet has become available and accessible worldwide, and it has become our main tool for everything from shopping to keeping in touch with our friends. Although there are more advantages than disadvantages, this opened an entirely new, virtual world.
The internet, or we should say the world’s largest playground, has become a place where we do much more than pay out bills – we can meet new people, from the loves of our life to casual sex partners or just other one-night-stand enthusiasts.
Nowadays, you can find lots of apps and websites specially developed for singles that are ready to enter another level of entertainment, for couples willing to spice up their relationships with a third person, and even for those who just want to talk and meet new people.
However, online chatting and matching aren’t always as simple as they appear, so we’ve prepared a couple of Dos and Don’ts, just to help you learn how to talk to a girl online, and not to look like a jerk, but to amaze her and even get laid!
Let’s get started!
1. DON’T Start with the Compliments
Rule number one says: “You’ll be more attractive to a girl more if you keep playing it cool.” If you show her that you’re too interested, you’ll be the same as every other guy she can meet on a dating app or social media platform. So, say something that she expects to hear, but don’t be too shy.
Instead of wasting your time in order to receive a “Thank you” message and boost her ego, try with something more creative than “Hey, you’re so beautiful.”
Being nice is outdated, and therefore you should develop your own fresh approach which can describe you in one sentence. Don’t be a loser, but also don’t be too harsh – find that sweet spot between being straightforward and confident, and being fun and intriguing!
2. DO Open the Conversation with Small Talk
So, if you want to get her attention, start with some small talk instead of saying how pretty she is. Small talk is a great ice breaker, so you should talk about some everyday things to check if you have something in common. Ask her about her relationship status, find out where she comes from, what she does for a living, and how she likes to spend her free time.
If there is something you have in common, even a tiny spark, you can turn it into something more interesting. One spark is enough to start a fire!
Of course, sometimes neither of you will be interested in one another’s personalities if your mutual goal is a casual sex relationship. The situation with one-night-stands, which is the most common thing you’ll find online, isn’t any different – physical attraction is the only thing that actually matters.
Besides, if she doesn’t tell you anything regarding her intentions, ask her directly.
3. DON’T Talk about Yourself Too Much
Whether you’re looking for a no-strings-attached partner or someone to stay with you through good and evil, don’t talk too much. Girls are better talkers, so let them guide the conversation. Try not to ask questions that are too personal – just be a good listener!
Be there to answer anything she asks, but don’t start all those boring stories that you wouldn’t like to hear from her. Imagine yourself in her shoes and try to be short and clear. No one wants to see boring people again – which means that you won’t get lucky, and you won’t talk to her ever again.
For example, you can tell her about an anecdote, but try to exclude your ex-girlfriends from your stories.
4. DO Be Funny and Tell Her a Joke
Well, we can freely say that every living woman likes to hear a good joke. You don’t have to be a clown, but you should try to make her smile. That way, she’ll feel safe and happy around you, which is a plus, whether you’re just hanging out together from time to time, or you’re trying to develop a more meaningful relationship.
It’s true that life isn’t a romantic movie where two strangers soon after become best friends, then friends with benefits, and at the end, they realize that they’ll live happily ever after. Life is a bit more complicated. This world is a place where the chances that fuck buddies will become strangers are greater than the chances that they’ll become a happy family.
However, you’ll never know until you try, and you should enjoy every single moment, and that’s exactly why you should make her laugh and have lots of fun!
5. DON’T Tell Her One of Those Terrible and Cringy Pick-up Lines
Awful opening lines are funny, but our recommendation is to try to avoid any form of these. The only funny one would be Joey’s “How you doin’?”, but that’s worn out too.
So, whatever you’re trying to achieve, never, but really never start a conversation with any pick-up line such as “Was your mother a beaver? Cause damn!” or even worse “It’s handy that I have my library card because I’m totally checking you out.”
Instead of being a cringy loser, try to act like a man. Hey, you’re not in kindergarten anymore, and such jokes aren’t funny! You and your pick-up line will be the main object of ridicule when your would-be hookup meets up with her friends. Get some best pick lines that work before chat.
6. DO Be Direct about Your Intentions
If you’re not ready to start a serious relationship, and all you’ve done in the past few months is surf the internet to find chicks ready to jump into your bed, you should tell her that.
Okay, you can probably pick some better words to describe your current situation, but you shouldn’t lie to her. If you’re not ready for something more serious than casual sex three times a week with the same partner, you should tell her that.
Who knows, maybe she’s looking for the same thing!
It’s true that your honesty won’t attract every single woman, but dude, being a jerk isn’t okay. If she’s looking for the same thing, you’ll be the best fuck buddies in the world. On the other hand, if she isn’t ready for such an experiment, you should tell her your intentions and avoid hurting her – prevention is better than a cure.
7. DON’T Lie to Her If You Don’t Want to End up Alone Tonight
It’s true that the internet isn’t a super romantic place where you should act like a prince, but if you’re a part of an open-minded online community, you should be fair, even if your intentions aren’t honest. Sometimes, these online stories don’t last longer than a webcam call, and each girl there knows that.
So, if the only thing you’re looking for is one video call, be honest and enjoy!
As we mentioned, if you tell her directly what you’re looking for, the chances that you’ll find out if you’re on the same page are better. Besides, if it turns out that she’s interested in hooking up with you and nothing more than that, you’ll skip all those boring dates and long talks, and you’ll spice up your sex life in a few hours!
8. DO Suggest that You Meet in Person
Once again, no matter what your intentions are, you should meet her in person and enjoy if possible. So if you want to attract her attention and present the best version of yourself, you should go out and talk. Online messaging and video calls aren’t as good as old-fashioned physical dates.
If you think that you’ll have a better chance of getting her interested in you in the real world, ask her to recommend some awesome place and go for a drink!
9. DON’T Invite Her to Your Place for Your First Date
It’s true that online dating apps bring numerous benefits, but they can bring a lot of risks, especially for women.
Even if she’s also there trying to find tonight’s hookup, the situation can get quite complicated. Well, if you want to stay a gentleman, you should invite her somewhere else, and if the situation continues to develop well enough, she’ll invite you to her place after she eliminates the possibility that you’re a maniac or psychopath.
However, you should also be careful, and make sure to always choose a public place for that famous first date, and more importantly, always tell your friend where you are going, because ladies can be creepy too.
10. DO Be Honest with Your Pictures and Descriptions
If you have downloaded and installed our favorite dating app to get laid tonight, you must be completely honest, and when we say “honest”, we mean reasonable.
Post your unedited pictures (one Instagram filter won’t kill you though), and add a real description regarding your age, physical appearance, etc. If you lie to her about such shallow things and disappoint her when you meet in person, trust us, you won’t get laid, and more precisely, you won’t see her again.
There is someone for everyone, so don’t be scared to show your imperfections. Also, try to figure out if your potential date is honest, too.
Online dating apps are awesome, but there is always a risk that someone else will knock on your door, like a jealous husband or ex-lover.
11. DON’T Pretend to Be Cooler Than You Are
Don’t forget that we live in the 21st century and that everyone can dig up some information about you sooner than you can imagine. Social media, including Instagram Stories or Facebook Check-ins, are a great source of data, so don’t try to pretend that you’re someone else.
Also, if you try to be funnier or cooler than you are, she will notice your insecurity and shyness as soon as she sees a few photos of you, or even worse, you’ll embarrass yourself when you meet her in person.
12. DO Add Her on Different Social Media Platforms
Nowadays, there is nothing that can confirm your identity better than your history on social media platforms.
To show her that you’re a cool and friendly guy, send her friend requests on one of the various social media accounts and start chatting there. That way, she’ll be able to understand what kind of person you are, and you’ll get the same opportunity.
Of course, do that like a pro and suggest that you start talking somewhere other than in the online world. Otherwise, you’ll act like a scary social media stalker!
The Bottom Line
Dating apps and websites, as well as adult online communities, and even social media are excellent places where you can find a girlfriend, a casual sex partner, or just a friend. However, as you have seen, there’s lots of room for lies.
If you truly want to attract a girl online, you should be yourself. Let her decide, be kind, treat her with respect and she’ll recognize your intentions.
Try to follow our advice, and you’ll get lucky sooner than you hope. There are lots of women interested in the same things as you are, and there is a chance that some hot chick just swiped left on your picture. Don’t lose hope, go there and have fun!
Even More on the Web:
- How to Talk to a Girl Online: Proven Openers