Excuse me, Miss. Are you alright?
Well, I just noticed that you’re an absolute angel, and hope you didn’t hurt yourself when you fell down from heaven. 😉
If you’re a woman, you’ve probably heard a line like this (or something very similar). If you’re a dude (this article goes to the guys, especially), you may be guilty of resorting to some pretty lame pickup lines in the past. Well-intentioned? Sure. Misguided? Perhaps.
Thing is, we’re not knocking the art of the pickup line. A first impression is one of the most important things (especially when it comes to hooking up online), so it’s important to nail it while still being true to yourself. Let it reflect your personality, and leave some room for a response that’s not simply “Thanks” or “Ugh!” and you’ll be golden.
Turns out we’ve got some recommendations for you. Use them well.
1. Keeping it simple.
You can’t go wrong with a simple introduction. “Hey there. I’m Matt. Nice to meet you.” A quick salutation, your name, and a friendly gesture. This is a great way to go if you’re just starting out on dating apps and are still working up a knowledge on how this scene behaves. Just make sure you have something to follow up with besides, “How are you?” for when you get a “You too” response. Maybe volunteering what you’ve been doing that day, and letting the other person do the same.
2. Diving right in.
Diving right into the middle of a conversation is a pretty gutsy move, but it can have some huge payoffs. The person you’re talking to may have been vetting people for hours now, and could be absolutely sick of everyone opening with “Hi, how r u?” Something like… “You know, I saw this dude outside just now. No shirt on, and riding a horse. Craziest thing.” Don’t use this line exactly (we stole it from a Black Mirror episode), but something similar — something that happened to you lately that was just weird and crazy and funny. When you get a response, introduce yourself, and go from there. but now you’ve got your foot in the door.
3. Getting to the point.
Hey: Lucky is a hookup site. People are on here because they want to hook up. Nothing wrong with diving straight into commenting on physicality. But remember that a lot of other people will be doing that too, and that it’s super easy to come off like a creeper. Keep it classy, (“Hi. I’m Matt. Just wanted to say that you’re really attractive,”) and you’ll stand out while making your intentions abundantly known.
4. Being direct.
A lot of people (guys especially) will assume that politeness is the same as concession. In other words, they’ll rely on phrases like, “Would you like to meet?” Thing is, this just comes off as ambiguous, like you’re not too interested in making a commitment either way. Saying things like “You seem really cool. I think it would be fun to meet. What are you doing in an an hour?” is polite, gets the point across, and presumably will line up with what the other person is interested in.
You should be a pretty funny, outgoing person to make this one work, but if you are, it’s a calling card. “Hey! I’m Matt! I like Jack Russell terriers, mangoes, (insert color) eyes and long walks on the beach. One time, I saw Cardi B in the parking lot of Olive Garden. I think.” Something like this comes off as a little tongue-in-cheek and playful, and gives a lot of ways for the other person to respond. Some people won’t dig it, but it’s all about how much you want to hook up with someone who thinks like you do.
6. Not being clingy.
While a little direct flirting can be fun (especially if you’re looking for a person who shares your impulsiveness and adventurousness!), know how to detect other people’s boundaries. Eighty percent of this is bowing out gracefully if a person doesn’t respond. It might be that they’re busy, or that someone else beat you to this hookup. Bombarding this person with messages is going to botch your chances if you run into them again, so if they’re silent, leaving a cordial “Hope we get to match again!” will make you stick in their mind.
Above all, be yourself. No matter who you are, people dig self-confidence. Have at ‘em.