Women almost never want the same as men, it’s just the way things are. Hookups and casual sex can be hard for men so it’s only fair to say the same for women.
Even though casual sex and hookups are easier than ever nowadays, there are still lots of problems and obstacles that keep most women from getting into one night stands and having regular casual partners and hookups.
Most hookups are just unplanned sexual encounters. Such casual encounters happen for the sake of having sex and that’s it. There’s nothing after it, there’s no future planning, no being together and perhaps, that’s the biggest problem women have when it comes to casual sex and hookups.
The lack of other forms of intimacy and no strings attached might be the main reasons why some women find casual sex with strangers not so attractive. Most of the time, the culture of hooking up is related to young adults and college students.
With so many top class hookup websites at their disposal, most young adults who have no interest in relationships are looking for brief sexual encounters with no strings attached.
It’s all about the people who want to have sex and nothing else. Since long-term relationships are how most people have sex, people without relationships need some way to satisfy their onset of sexual desire.
The best way to do it is by finding a casual partner who wants the same as they do: just sex and no strings attached. No dates, no going out together, just good old bed action and nothing afterward.
According to a very useful study, it’s not that women have a problem with having casual sex, it’s just that they tend to feel like men are better suited with that modern sexual culture than they are. The study showed that a lot of women will hook up and will have casual sex but there’s a bit of a problem here.
Both men and women feel dissatisfied with the results of their hookups with a little difference: the levels of female dissatisfaction are above male levels. This might come from the fact that men are seeking hookups for the sake of their own pleasure and the pleasure of women is secondary to them.
Then, there’s one more problem, the one that has been around since forever. Women are capable of having sex with no strings attached but they will be marginalized and stigmatized for their sexual choices which doesn’t apply to men at all.
In a modern society, men who enjoy casual sex and regular hookups are praised for doing so whereas women still need to manage with all the judgment and stigma.
These double standards might just be the main reason why most women will avoid casual sex and hookups. Looking from a sociological aspect, women and men want and need emotional commitment but the difference between them is that women find commitment to be more important than men do.
So, the reason why men and women have sex differs, as women do it for the sake of something more, with the hope that it might turn into something higher and better, something meaningful and other than just sheer sex and satisfaction.
Women Are Simply Different
Regardless of the sex, every person should take their time to fully comprehend and understand the culture of casual sex and hookups to avoid being hurt, confused, disappointed and, in the worst case scenario, depressed.
The maternal instinct additionally makes casual sex hard on some women, even though modern women tend to be more open to such experiences and want to do things that men do, casual sex and hookups included.
It’s more than obvious that women don’t accept casual sex and hookups the way men do. While both see sex as an enjoyable experience, some things related to casual sex affect women more than men. This makes women less open to such adventures. Here are a couple of reasons why this is so.
- Men are more open to casual sex/hookups than women – most men see casual sex/hookup as just an opportunity to have sex, while women see it as a unique experience that sticks and is related to making them feel promiscuous, easy, and cheap. Most of them will feel regret afterward for getting involved in the first place.
- Women fear the risks involved – most men see relationships as something boring and lame where they have to go on dates and buy expensive jewelry. To them, a notion of having sex with a beautiful woman with no strings attached is like a dream come true. For women, it’s completely the other way around.
- Most women are aware that most of their relationships start out purely sexual but it’s the idea of something bigger developing that justifies for it. With casual sex, women risk getting pregnant or catching an STD and there’s no real long-term payoff to balance out the risks.
- Women find it more difficult to stay emotionally detached – since it’s usually difficult for women to stay emotionally detached, the majority of them will avoid casual sex/hookups. The truth is, not everyone is wired for hookups, men and women alike.
- Casual sex doesn’t work the same for everyone. It’s usually easier for men to have casual sex, as they can be stimulated even on a purely visual level, while women often need a slightly deeper level of trust, emotional commitment, and rapport to get comfortable and achieve arousal.
With all this in mind, we will mention some of the most important reasons why women find casual sex to be hard.
Women Aren’t as Dispassionate About Sex as Men
Most women simply can’t be as removed or dispassionate about casual sex as men. It’s impossible for them to get excited if they don’t feel any connection with someone, even when it’s clearly just casual sex with no strings attached. Men find it easier to just do their thing and move on to a new partner but women are different.
Put simply, women need to feel safe and comfortable around their partners and passionate about them if they are to fully enjoy sex. Because of that, hooking up with random casual partners they’ve never met before for the sake of having sex and nothing more tends to be a bit problematic for them.
Casual Sex and Hookups are Confusing for Everyone
We mentioned before that it’s essential for both men and women to do their research on casual sex and hookup culture to get the picture and fully understand how things work.
Women find casual sex and hookups to be a bit confusing as there are no actual rules to the game. Well, the best thing to do before you get in the bed with someone you’ve never met before is to set some ground rules about how’s it going to be.
If it’s a one-time thing, make it clear that it is so. If you want to do it once in a while with the same guy, be clear about it.
To avoid confusion and things getting pretty weird, you need to communicate with your casual partner about things you want, but most importantly, the things you don’t want. You need to be on the same page with your partner to make things work.
This goes for both men and women. Communication is the key and casual sex is all about making compromises. If people talk to each other and understand the intentions, casual sex and hookups can turn out to be quite satisfying experiences.
Things Tend to Get Complicated
Men are usually better at casual sex and hookups as they don’t complicate things by involving higher expectations and emotions into the casual sex equation. Therefore, conversation and communication are the only way to avoid a complication no one wants or needs.
If a man wants only sex and nothing more, while a woman needs a bit more intimacy, both inside and outside the bedroom, these things need to be cleared out so that no one ends up getting hurt.
If two people see each other regularly for the sake of having sex, someone is going to get attached, sooner or later. If that happens, it’s only fair to say so and have a conversation about where to go from there.
The whole beauty of hooking up and casual sex is that there’s plenty of fish out there. All you have to do is cast your hook and wait.
Women Have a lot to Worry About
While there are obvious risks involved, some women can start to overthink things. Instead of just letting casual sex be what it is and enjoy themselves, they start to worry about societal norms, what their friends would say, even how their partner might perceive them as easy or tell others about their arrangement.
Those who can just let go and forget about their inhibitions do it like there’s no tomorrow, but for most of women, it’s not that simple because they don’t want to just sleep with anyone.
Women have standards just like men do, except it’s a lot different. Instead of just going with the first guy with a cute face and broad shoulders, most women will do some vetting first and this tends to make things complicated, simply because men want this to be as simple as possible.
When a woman starts feeling things out to see if she and her new partner are compatible, and to make sure he’s not a total douche, most men in the hookup scene take this as a sign of clinginess. Guys looking for hookups don’t want to get into anything that looks complicated, and they’ll often bail if the woman is not up for it right away.
Casual Sex Involves the Risk of Getting STDs
STDs are unfortunately unavoidable when it comes to having sex with lots of partners. Some people pay no mind to practice safe sex until it’s too late.
Women tend to care about things more than men do and STDs are high on that list of worries. Hence the hardships of getting involved in sexual intercourse with a complete stranger.
They don’t know anything about their partners but on the other hand, male partners don’t know anything about their partners either. It’s safe to say that casual sex requires a bit of trust, a leap of faith that everything is going to be alright.
There’s one thing here. Men that practice casual sex, regularly sleep with numerous partners. Any woman with a sense of self-respect will have a problem with that.
Feelings Simply Happen
Women see three things in direct relation to sex: bonding, affection, and security. For a lot of them, casual sex and hookups end up meaning more than they should. This goes especially for women who prefer sleeping with the same partner more than once.
Like it or not, they end up feeling something for their casual partner even though they didn’t mean to. This is perhaps why a lot of women simply avoid having casual sex, it’s just too emotional for them.
Most Women Have Trouble Meeting Guys
Going out to the bar with the goal aimed at meeting a guy is a thing of the past for most women.
Girls often struggle with meeting guys nowadays. Most girls want casual sex as they see sex with a stranger as something exciting, but a lot of them are simply too shy to say it or they’re worried what people would say.
Because of this, most women have problems with simply approaching a random guy at the bar and saying what’s on their mind. That’s exactly the reason why dating apps like Lucky exist. Such apps were intended for people who don’t have enough confidence to approach someone they like in person.
It’s easier to state your wishes and desires online than in real life without a doubt. This way, they can just click on any guy they like and get into a conversation.
This is also good for their experience. It might seem weird in the beginning but once you get through it all, it will become something that you’re looking forward too. Everything changes and women and their approach to casual sex will change too.
Most girls just need a period of adaptation. Women are more vulnerable than men in a purely physical sense, and that also makes it hard on them to start a conversation with someone they don’t know for the sake of fulfilling their carnal pleasures. In the end, it all really depends on the conversation you have with your partner.