Before you get into casual dating, there are a few choices that you might want to think about. Diving headlong into a monogamous partnership full of commitments might simply not be the right choice for you.
Instead of doing that and going through the same problems again, maybe you should consider some alternatives. Dating casually might just be the thing that you are looking for. It’s almost the same as any previous relationship you had, but with a lot less commitment and emotional involvement.
If you need some more persuading, we will go over why keeping things casual could be a good solution to get your mojo back.
1. Let the Past Be the Past
First of all, think about all your past relationships and how they went. You don’t want to make the same mistakes all over again. Casual dating has numerous advantages that make things much easier. Uncommitted relationships will get the emotional burden off your chest because the stakes are much lower and there is no exclusivity.
If you just can’t see yourself in a long-term relationship or every time you try it things go bad or you just broke up and are not ready for a new relationship, it’s good to know that things don’t have to be that black and white all the time.
You need to see a bigger picture here and find yourself again.
Jumping into something serious after a breakup is never a smart thing to do but if you feel lonely, dating casually can do miracles for you. First of all, if you really want to enjoy dating again, you need to let the past be the past. Whatever happened with your last date, forget about it and turn a new page in your dating book.
There are two ways to do this.
Either you will find a new girl or a guy with whom you want something more and you will work on that, or you don’t need anything more than just a casual date from time to time.
Whatever your case may be, make sure that you are relaxed and feeling good about it because any type of relationship needs both parties to be in the mood. If you start panicking for any reason, chances are that things won’t go smoothly.
So, to be completely sure of what you are getting yourself into, you need to understand what casual dating actually means. Well, to cut a long story short, casual dating means being with a girl or a guy without any commitments like in a relationship. It’s basically dating someone that you like with all the benefits that come from dating but without any relationship commitments.
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Most of the time, people who are scared of commitment, have scars from previous relationships or are not good at relationships, turn to casual dating because they feel like they can manage. Because there is no real pressure like in most relationships, they tend to feel good about having someone with whom they can relate, without being obliged to do so when they don’t feel like it.
Now, it happens often enough that causal dating starts looking more like a relationship than what it actually is. That’s where you need to set some ground rules to prevent anyone from getting hurt.
2. Communication Is Essential to Make It Work
Talking about what you feel with your date is crucial to the overall well-being of your casual relationship. Even though casual dating implies no relationship, it’s a form of relationship. You still need to see that person on a somewhat regular basis, talk to them, sleep with and develop a connection that makes you want to do things with that person.
Now, since you can’t know what the other person thinks or wants upfront, communication is the bridge between your two worlds. The better the communication, the better the dating. Anything can be worked out with a simple conversation and no subject should ever be a taboo.
You can keep some of your secrets, as your casual date won’t insist on knowing everything about you, but opening up allows you to set some ground rules that both parties should respect. Communication is the key here and it will prevent the most common situation, which is when one party starts wanting something more but the other doesn’t.
That’s usually where things go sideways, but you can take care of that if you don’t get confused by emotions.
3. Don’t Let Emotions Get in Your Way
It’s very important to clear things up with your date before you move on. The other party should know your real intentions, just as you should know theirs. If the person you’re dating casually is up for something more than just that, they should be allowed to look for that something elsewhere with your consent. Things need to be fair at all times.
If you want things to stay the way they are, you need to emphasize it, but before you do that, be sure of yourself and your emotions. It wouldn’t be fair to say things that you don’t mean and then take those things back when the situation goes down the drain.
Never be afraid to say anything because you think that it might hurt the other person’s feelings, because that’s exactly how people get hurt in the first place. Honesty plays a big role in this type of relationship, as well as respect.
Strong emotions and things left unsaid can lead to manipulation and that’s something that you want to avoid at all costs, because manipulation almost always results in someone getting hurt and the end of your relationship. That’s why you need to play nice, but also make sure your date does the same.
4. If Things Get Complicated, It’s Time to Move On
Always be nice, even when you don’t get along. Remember that dating is not just about emotions but rather getting back on your feet again. Expressing raw emotions to the person you’re dating casually might cost you that person, so think twice about what you feel before you put your true intentions where your mouth is.
On the other hand, if you feel like the other person might be manipulating you, that means that it’s time to move on and get out of there.
The last thing you need is your casual dating becoming complicated. If you and your date constantly keep ending up at sleepovers and having breakfast in the morning after a sturdy night, that might mean that your casual dating is starting to become something bigger.
If you are OK with that, then you are free to proceed but if you are not, you shouldn’t give off those kinds of boyfriend or girlfriend vibes. Your date might start thinking that there is something more going on and things might get complicated.
To make sure you avoid this situation, keep things simple and always be honest because honesty matters the most in all situations.
5. Be Respectful of Your Dating Partner at All Times
Even though you are not in a formal relationship with your partner, that still doesn’t mean that you don’t have to be respectful and understanding. In fact, being forthcoming will get you what you want for sure. Being nice is not that hard.
For example, if your partner texts you but you are busy at the moment, spend a second to text them back saying that you can’t talk and you will get back to them when you are free. It’s the little things that make life great and the same goes for your casual dating.
If you play nice, there’s a greater chance that you will manage things accordingly and everything will be just as it’s supposed to be. Handling simple communication is very important, especially because it’s casual dating.
Of course, don’t overcommunicate because that might give away an impression that you want something more. Find the golden middle ground and stick by it – always treat your partner with courtesy and respect. Show them that you care just enough to keep them calm.
If you expect emotional support and intimacy, expect the same from your partner and be ready to respond with the same courtesy.
6. Limit Your Time Together
If you are wondering just how to relate to someone without fully committing yourself, you can start by limiting the time you spend together. You can always talk about your feelings but the actions speak much louder than words.
If you don’t act like a classical boyfriend or girlfriend and casually spend some time with your date, have sex but don’t sleep over, you are sending clear signals about your true intentions. It’s important to learn the difference between dating and a relationship, because that will allow you to put the limit where it belongs without hurting your partner or their feelings.
Letting your true intentions coming into the light is essential if you want to keep dating casually with all the good coming from it. Also, casual dating is not a sex date. It‘s called dating with a reason. That means that you can’t just expect your casual date to come over to your place for sex.
There has to be some sort of romantic dimension to your dating, but you need to keep things under control to avoid ending up confused about what you really want.
7. Jealousy Is a Sign of Deeper Emotional Involvement
Jealousy is not good in any scenario, not in a real relationship and not in casual dating. If you become jealous of your casual date, expect the same in return.
We’ve already mentioned that it’s important to control your emotions to avoid any complications. Well, being jealous is a complication of the worst degree. Most of the time, it comes from the fact that one person wants something more but is scared to admit it and then they suppress those emotions.
That is a big mistake because those emotions can turn into many different things and one of those things is anger. You start feeling angry for not getting what you really want and when you see your date with someone else, you become jealous of the fact that they want someone else besides you.
Take a deep breath and control yourself. No one is obliged to return the same feelings to you and if seeing your casual date with someone else makes you feel jealous, maybe it’s time to end things with that person and move on.
8. Avoid Mentioning Other Partners
No one wants or likes to hear about the partners you previously had or how they remind you of your ex-partners. Avoiding such discussions will only do good for your current casual situation. Mentioning other partners can mean a lot of things, but it can also mean that you long for things to get back to how they used to be and you might confuse your casual date.
Comparing the people you are with to the people with whom you’ve been will only complicate things even further, so unless you are planning on getting emotionally involved even deeper with your casual date, never mention other partners.
Casual dating is all about not getting emotionally involved and if you start mentioning other partners, you are at risk of jeopardizing all of your previous efforts. It’s always better to avoid such discussions, especially if you need to end your casual relationship.
Just because you avoid getting emotionally involved doesn’t mean you don’t have to feel anything at all. Every relationship has to end one way or another and the same goes for your casual relationship.
Your breakup needs to be just like your relationship, relaxed and completely casual.
