There are two most important things when it comes to casual sex: communication and honesty. Dating, hookups, friends with benefits, serious relationships, even marriage, all of these are based on those two things.
They are the greatest and most useful tools in creating, building, and maintaining a successful relationship with someone you hold dear. Well, casual sex shouldn’t be any different from a relationship.
Just because it’s a one-time thing, just a casual one night stand, it doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t include proper behavior and manners. For some reason, people tend to freak out when it’s just sex they want. This goes especially for men. When they want a relationship, most men act all forthcoming and caring.
But when it’s all about having sex for just one night, they just want to get over with it. Most men get to a tight spot because of that, but it doesn’t have to be necessarily so. The truth is, girls love honest guys. If you go forth and simply state your intentions, chances are that you’ll actually get what you want.
Well, if we take into consideration that most girls on casual hookup dating sites are there for the same thing as guys, it shouldn’t be that hard to do the math here.
So, we come to the biggest challenge of them all: how to say that you want casual sex without sounding and seeming creepy or being offensive. So, let’s break down how to offer casual sex without being offensive.
Everything is in your presentations. With the right mental state, the right tone and wording, you can achieve your goals and avoid leaving a very wrong impression. If you want some casual sex with a girl that you like, you need to make a genuine connection. That means that there’s no room for a lack of confidence here.
Every man needs to have some insight into how to treat a woman, regardless of her being his girlfriend or just a casual hookup. So, you need to work on your presentation as the first impression that you make is the one that sticks.
With all this in mind, here are some of the best approaches to offering casual sex and still being a gentleman.
1. Don’t Trick Your Potential Partners
Every girl wants to be treated like a human being. Just because it’s a one night stand, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put some effort into it and make your partner feel wanted and desirable. Each of your prospective partners is a person with feelings, so you need to view them as such.
They aren’t your toys or playthings. Tricking them into getting what you want might leave you satisfied but it can also hurt their feelings. Don’t play on their insecurities because that’s just wrong.
Instead, present yourself, be polite, and just spark up a conversation. If you both want the same thing, everything will fall into place.
2. Don’t Set High Expectations
Expecting something from someone you barely know can be and look very awkward. If you want something from a girl you’ve just met online, you won’t get it by expecting her to read your mind. Instead, offer attention and your time freely.
Remember, if a girl showed that she likes you on a casual sex dating site, it doesn’t mean she owes you anything. So be respectful and nice before you pop the question, don’t just expect her to give you what you want just because you’ve been nice to her.
3. There’s No Friend Zone in the Casual Sex Zone
Even if you’re kind to some girl, that still doesn’t mean you’ll get what you want. Sometimes, things just don’t work out and you should learn to accept this. Physical intimacy is easy for some but others aren’t so enthusiastic.
All people have fears and desires. The trick is to know how to interact comfortably with the girls you like, without presenting yourself as someone who has a hidden agenda.
This will make your interaction with a potential lover so much easier. Once the masks are off, that’s when you’re allowed to talk about your longings and wants. Also, it’s important not to act like you expect her to know what you want, because she doesn’t.
4. Respect Plays a Crucial Role in Your Approach
If it happens that a girl turns you down after you’ve stated what you want, there’s no reason to bash on her. Instead, keep it cool, respect her decision and move on. You can never know how she’ll react if you remain nice, she might even change her mind.
By including respect in your approach, you’re leaving all doors open. Most girls aren’t as relaxed when it comes to casual sex offerings as men and not all of them are prepared to go right away. They have their boundaries and limitations, so respect that.
Most importantly, don’t bash on them because you were rejected some time ago. Keep in mind, that just like you made your move, so did a couple of guys more. After all, it’s an online hookup network with millions of users.
5. Be Kind
This is perhaps one of the most important things when you’re making a move on a girl. If you’re able to demonstrate good qualities and an array of interests, your chances of getting some hot bedroom action will suddenly look a whole lot better. It’s not that hard to be nice, considerate, and kind.
Never assume that a girl will do anything to please you just because you’ve found her on a hookup site. What works for some people, doesn’t work for others. Work on your approach to be the person that excites other people with their interests and passions if you want to make yourself more appealing.
6. Don’t be Afraid of Getting Rejected
All people fear rejection, it’s in their nature. Still, you know that saying there’s plenty of fish in the water. Imagine a hooking site as a huge ocean where you freely swim around until you find exactly what you are looking for.
Whether you’re asking a girl out or proposing casual sex, it’s always about sex in the end. You don’t have to put on a big show to get a girl to go to bed with you. In fact, taking a girl you want to sleep with on a date might give her the wrong impression.
On the other hand, saying something like “can I get a quickie” won’t get you anywhere either. The point is, you shouldn’t fear getting rejected once you’ve stated your clear intentions, as not everyone wants the same thing as you do.
That’s why it’s important that you’re confident and continue your search until you find someone who wants to skip the introductions and get to the real thing. All you have to do is phrase your wants correctly.
7. Mind your Language and Delivery
A girl can mistake a dating site for a place where she can find a relationship, it happens. So, when you start hitting on her, she’ll get an impression that you want the same thing as she does.
The way you say things can make them seem different than what you actually meant. Don’t be too honest too early either, as you don’t want to make the impression that you’re doing her a favor by taking her on a date.
Mind your language and, most importantly, clearly say that you’re here for something casual and she’ll get your point. If she decides to play along, you’re in for a great night. It’s totally fine to say that you’re not up for a relationship but you want some casual action and it’s totally doable without sounding creepy.
8. Take Turns
If it’s just sex that you’re after, it still involves another person and that person has some expectations, just like you do. It’s not only about you and your needs.
Having casual sex is about satisfying your physical needs alright, but it’s also about giving pleasure to your partner. So, keep in mind that hooking up involves your partner just as much as it involves you.
The more you give into it, the better it will be. No one wants one-sided sex, as there’s no adventure to it. Don’t be sexually selfish, be mindful and take turns with your potential partner so that you can please each other. If you present yourself like that type of guy, there are far more chances that you’ll hit the sack.
9. Slow Down and Take Your Time
Impatience isn’t your friend at all, especially in situations when you’re looking to score over the internet. While it’s true that girls want the same thing only in a different way, you can’t just rush things.
One-off and casual sexual encounters require some time and effort, girls need some vetting before you tell them what you want. They just want to know that you’re a normal and safe guy who will treat them nicely.
Therefore, don’t say anything that you wouldn’t normally say to a stranger. Exchange some pleasantries, give her some compliments, and just be polite.
10. Start a Conversation Without being Rude
Conversation helps you establish two very important things: that you’re safe and fun, and her interest. So, start a conversation by asking some simple, polite questions. Don’t make rude or vulgar remarks, as no one likes that coming from a complete stranger.
Not every girl is on hookup sites for the sole purpose of satisfying men. If you rush things and get vulgar right away, you’re lazy and transparent, and you will be viewed as someone who pays no mind to other people and their needs. No girl wants a guy who’s desperate for sex.
11. Wait for Her Indication
Once you’ve made a casual and polite conversation, look out for cues as that’s the best way to be sure that you’re in for a casual sex situation. If she wants the same thing as you, she’ll probably let you know in a clear way.
Wait for her to indicate this but make sure that you don’t force her to say it. Girls like to let guys know if they’re really up for hooking up. Once you’ve stated your desires, let her decide if she’s up for what you have in mind.
12. Always Be Cool
Even if a girl is available and she gives her enthusiastic consent, keep it cool and don’t get down to business right away. Make a proposal to hang out or ask for a vaguely cordial meeting. If she prefers to get straight to it, she will let you know. Ask her out for a drink but leave all options open and put her in charge.
Most girls will know how to appreciate this, as this is perhaps one of the most important things when you’re thinking about how to hook up with a girl online. Since playing cool is a crucial part of your presentation, assume that things will be like you want them to be and just chill until you get to the hot stuff.
Your chances at succeeding are much greater if you play it cool and not act like a hothead or a pervert who just came here to send pictures of his genitals, hoping to find a girl who’s as desperate as he is. If you’re relaxed, cool, and open for a friendly conversation, you will get your fair share of action eventually.
With these 12 approaches, offering casual sex without seeming creepy will become as easy as a walk in a park. The trick is just to be respectful, mindful and polite, honest and open, and good things will happen without any doubt.
People who use hookup dating sites almost always want the same thing so if you play it honestly, you’ll achieve your goals and more. There’s nothing wrong with having casual sex with strangers for the sake of sheer pleasure. Just be a gentleman at all times and you’ll have what you want for sure.