If you need sex just to be sex, without any relationship, emotions, or any strings attached don’t be worried, this is completely normal. Some guys simply get tired of being in committed relationships, especially in the ones that don’t work out as well as they hoped and they turn only to sex.
This has become a common thing and there is a whole hookup culture out there where people share the same goals. People want to keep it simple and just have fun, but hooking up is not simple and easy for everyone, especially if you’ve never done something like this and you’ve only been in committed relationships.
But if you want to hookup and have sex without any strings attached – you should do it. Luckily for you, today we will share some useful advice that will help you do this properly in a fair honest fashion. The first thing you need to do is get rid of the assumption that women don’t want to do this, there are a lot of those who do and you just need to make your intentions clear.
Earn Her Trust
Even though there are a lot of women out there who are looking to hookup, it doesn’t mean that they will trust everybody and that they are willing to have sex with just about everyone. Women want to feel safe no matter if we are talking about a relationship or a casual hookup.
As a guy, you will first have to earn her trust if you want to have a chance with her. When it comes to hookups, there is a lot more risk for women and this is why they like to learn more about a guy and see if they can trust him before they go through with it.
No matter what kind of situations you’re in, whether you are in a bar having drinks or in a club dancing with a girl, there needs to be a point during the night when you will share your intentions and talk a bit about yourself. You need to be genuine and show her that you only want to have a great time and make her feel nice as well.
Sleazy doesn’t Mean Trustworthy
There are a lot of stereotypes surrounding guys that want to hookup. However, the people that believe in these stereotypes are the ones who don’t actually hook up. The first mistake for guys that are new to this is that they buy into these misconceptions and try to act sleazy and a bit creepy around girls.
They think that it’s these kinds of guys that get laid, but it’s actually quite the opposite. The dude that is too obvious, too forward, and tries to look too confident usually gets nowhere. If you do this, you will come off as untrustworthy and sleazy, which is a deal-breaker for most women.
Remember, when you’re out doing your thing, you need to be able to earn the trust of the girl you are interested in but at the same time, you also have to earn the trust of her friends. In most cases, if her friends don’t approve you won’t get far. So look for a meaningful way to approach a girl and stay away from those corny pickup lines you found online.
Give Her Your Attention
One of the biggest mistake for guys that are new to hookups is that they think that they shouldn’t invest themselves for a girl just because they don’t plan on establishing a serious relationship. If the girl notices that you aren’t actually engaged and that you are just thinking about the final goal – having sex – chances are that she will blow you off first chance she gets.
Wanting to hook up doesn’t mean you should be indecent and look at girls like a piece of meat. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should be talking about serious things and dig deep into her life, but you need to show interest while spending time with her. Think about the whole night you spend together as part of the hookup, not just the sex part.
With this kind of mindset, you will have the most success. When she’s talking to you, don’t look at your phone and zone out somewhere else. Be natural, share stories, buy her drinks, and give her attention, this is how she will know that you are trustworthy.
Remember, it’s also about her not just about you, help her have a great time and things might go where you want them to.
You Must Take the Initiative
Taking the lead doesn’t mean being unnecessary physical or pushy. Like we mentioned earlier, being too confident can seem creepy and sleazy but still, you need to have confidence and lead the way. If you are just sitting around and not taking charge towards the next steps, you won’t get far. Even if the girl is completely comfortable and into you, in most cases she won’t be the one to initiate things.
You need to do this by grabbing her hand and going dancing or taking her to a more secluded place where you can talk alone or make out. This is how you will be the one that takes the lead.
However, you need to make sure that you are in that place where you can do those kinds of things, while at the same time giving her hints about what’s going to happen next.
At the same time, you will position yourself as the guy that makes things happen, which girls love, while not making her feel slutty, as you are the one calling the shots. No matter how funny it might seem, girls love this and you need to play this game, even though both of you know what the end goal is.
However, if she lets you know that she wants to take things slowly, don’t try to force things.
Get Drunk, But not Too Drunk
Clearly, one of the best things about alcohol is that it can loosen you up and at the same time give you the necessary confidence boost you need. However, a lot of guys that are new to hooking up feel nervous and they try to compensate that with many drinks. This is an obvious red flag for most women and when they see you getting shot after shot, they will stay clear from you.
A good rule of thumb is to follow her lead and drink as much as she does. Still, if you feel like you are getting a bit dizzy, tone it down with the drinks. Alcohol is going to hit you in the head, which is not that great of an issue, but it will also hit you between the legs, and this is something you can’t afford.
Like it or not, it affects your performance in bed and having too many drinks could ruin the whole thing for you. You don’t want to go back to your place and start things up, only to realize that there is nothing going up. If you want to see this person again and have sex, you need to be able to perform well.
One of the worse things you can possible do is to rush things and push the girl into having sex by constantly talking about it and trying to convince her to come back to your place.
To girls, this is an obvious red flag. If she feels like you are forcing her to have sex with you and this is the only thing you care about, she will go on the defensive and leave you hanging.
Be natural and let the conversation and whole experience take its own course. Take into consideration all the things mentioned above and stick to the rules that we’ve set and you won’t have to convince her of anything, she will make up her mind on her own.
In the end, it’s her choice, and if she doesn’t seem interested in hooking up with you, it’s her right.
Taking initiative is important, but you can’t change her mind by trying to be aggressive. If she is giving you signs that she would like to take things to the next step, then act on them, if not, learn to accept it. After all, the beauty of hookups is that you can always find someone else with whom you’ll have better chemistry.
Establish Some Ground Rules
Just like in committed relationships, hookups also need certain rules to ensure that both participants are on the same page and, more importantly, they feel comfortable and enjoy their time together. If you “sealed the deal” and know what’s going to happen, make sure to discuss important things and set some ground rules that will ensure nobody does something the other person doesn’t like.
These rules could include what you talk about, how you will behave next to each other, and what you can do in bed. There is nothing wrong with saying what you expect and what the other person expects. You can also extend these rules past the initial night and discuss whether or not you are going to see each other again, how you are going to communicate and what your relationship is going to be about.
For example, you should get carried away and send messages to your special friend every day. This usually breaks the boundaries of a casual relationship and takes the whole thing in a different direction. Make sure that you set the rules so that there isn’t room for anyone misunderstanding what the whole thing is about.
Condom is a must. We all know that having sex without one is much better, but this is something you cannot overlook even if the girl doesn’t really care about protection. Imagine getting a stranger pregnant and having to deal with the issue without even knowing each other, not pleasant right?
On the other hand, the only real protection against sexually transmitted diseases is a condom. You don’t want a casual sexual encounter to turn out to be the worst mistake of your life and have to deal with some disease. People who are into casual sex often have a lot of different partners, meaning that the chances of getting an STD are far greater.
Luckily, you don’t have to worry about that if you just have a condom ready. Get a large pack and keep it at home. You can also have a few with you, just in case you don’t end up at your place. Be prepared in advance, as you can’t guarantee you will have self-control when you’re horny and in bed.
Take Care of Her Sexual Needs as Well
If you want to have sex with someone again, you will have to be good at it. No girl will want to sleep with you again if you only think about yourself during sex and don’t try to satisfy her as well. Of course, it takes two to tango, but you need to make sure that you give her the attention she deserves.
This is especially important if you are hooking up with a friend or someone you know. You don’t want the reputation of “that guy” that finishes too quickly and falls asleep. Even though we are talking about casual sex, foreplay is important and most women don’t want to skip it. Foreplay contributes to better sex both for you and her and helps you reach orgasm.
Also make sure that you have a lubricant available in case there is a need for it. Don’t be dominant always and let her take the lead when she wants to. Pay attention to her and her reactions to what you are doing, this is how you will learn about sex and what she likes. Over time, you will get better.
In the end, if you feel like your partner is taking things into the relationship waters, make sure to tell her that. Don’t be a wimp and let her know that you are only interested in keeping things casual. Now that you’ve learned how to be casual with your sex life, go forward and fornicate with joy.