No matter what kind of sex you prefer, I’m sure that you enjoy it every time. A one-night stand with a stranger provides a lot of fun, but sex that happens from time to time with your hookup is also great. If you decide to have sex with your sex-with-benefits friend, you’ll also enjoy it, but on another level.
Mixed feelings of desire, love, and passion provide an unforgettable experience. If you go just one step further, we are talking about real sex with your long-term relationship partner, and that’s something special.
So, since we agreed that sex is always fun, it remains to choose what kind of sex makes us feel the best. From my point of view, young people today often choose casual sex without commitment, so let’s clarify how to enjoy it without ruining it.
It’s easy to deal with long-term relationships considering that couples talk to each other about feelings and everything else, but if you are in a casual sex relationship, it’s possible that you’ll ruin it if you don’t comply with some ground rules.
If you’ve never had sex with no strings attached, something could go downhill when you meet your first hookup. If you’ve had experience with casual sex hookups, you surely know what I’m talking about, but it won’t kill you if you continue reading because you’ll learn something new.
Every relationship has some rules. Some of these rules impose society, but you should set the others. Since casual sex relationships aren’t accepted as long-term relationships are, a couple should set up some ground rules.
Tell your partner if you see other people
Honesty is necessary if you want to stay in a healthy relationship, even if it’s casual. Since a casual sex relationship means a relationship without obligations – seeing other people is allowed. Your partner might feel excluded if you sleep with other people behind their back. There is no reason for your partner to be angry if you merely talk about other people involved in your sexual life.
If your casual sex partner can’t accept that you are sleeping with additional people, just walk away because you don’t have to explain anything. The fact that you are allowed to sleep with other people too might make you feel more comfortable.
Moreover, you can set different rules outside the box. If neither of you wants to be in an open relationship, talk about it.
Avoid talking about feelings
We’ve determined that feelings can destroy every casual sex relationship. If something is cool as it is, don’t complicate it. If you need a more meaningful relationship, it’s better to find someone who wants the same as you do.
If you try to develop a casual sex relationship into something more serious, there is a chance that you’ll end up alone. Keep your relationship based on sex as casual as possible. The only allowed feeling is passion.
Consider that feelings are your worst enemy. Don’t let them pass the barrier.
Think about ending a casual sexual relationship if you notice that any serious feelings are beginning to appear. Sooner or later someone will be hurt. Only if mutual feelings appear should you stay in that relationship and let things happen on their own.
Don’t get too involved in your partners’ life
If you want to stay in a casual sex relationship, you should try to stay away from your partners’ life. If you involve too much, everything that seems casual will disappear. If you meet your partners’ friends, there is a chance that you’ll hang out together. When a casual sex couple has more topics for conversations besides talking in bed, it’s logical that a relationship may develop into something more serious.
The only worst thing that can happen is meeting your partners’ parents and family. Can you imagine family gatherings with you invited? I know, it sounds awful.
Romantic dinners are for real couples
Maybe it’s okay to eat some fast food after a cup of sex, but going on a real date is insane. Tables in romantic restaurants are reserved for long-term relationship couples, not for the two of you. If you want to avoid the biggest mistake ever, don’t get involved in something like this. Also, avoid movie theaters, long romantic walks, giggling for no reason and other clichés. Just keep it simple and casual.
Any romantic gesture like buying gifts or flower bouquets is forbidden. There will be times when you will be ”forced” to be romantic. Enjoy it because no one expects you to be gentle in that way.
Chill out about text messages
Texting a hookup is fine within the normal limits. The only reason for texting is to determine the time and place of the meeting. Any additional message could confuse your partner.
Messages like “What’s up?”, “Where are you?”, “How was your day?” etc. will surely make your partner feel like you are interested in something more serious. If you aren’t, which is also my advice, don’t pretend that you care. Stay in the safe zone because you might get hurt too. Also, you could ruin the mystery that a casual sex relationship brings.
It’s better to prevent any issues than to deal with the fallout, so don’t give anyone false hope.
Respect is something independent of feelings. Affable behavior is something that implies. You have to respect your hookup. If you treat your partner well, you can expect mutual respect. Even if your relationship is based only on sex, you aren’t having sex with a doll but with a human being. If nice behavior isn’t something that you’ve learned at home, you should work on that now.
Keep in mind that your partner isn’t your sex slave and everything is going to be alright. You should control your portions and be a gentleman.
Avoid sex under the influence of alcohol
Casual sex or one-night stands very often happen under the influence of alcohol and drugs. Maybe it seems more fun that way, but it’s not safe. The other reason for avoiding drunk or wasted sex is that you might embarrass yourself and lose your reputation as a good lover.
After an embarrassing situation that might happen, be sure that your partner won’t invite you to another casual sex night.
Unwanted pregnancy is something that usually happens when a couple is doing it under the influence of alcohol. Keep that in mind because it might be awkward to explain to your children that they are just a mistake.
Also, having unprotected sex with your no-strings-attached partner under the influence of alcohol is very dangerous. Since the number of young people with STDs is raising, always use a condom!
Don’t try to define your relationship
Labels that define relations also could destroy your relationship. To avoid an early breakup, don’t ask questions like ”What are we?” The direction of your relationship development isn’t something that you can control. Also, the answer might terrify you more than a situation you are facing.
If your partner isn’t ready for a commitment, that’s okay because you started this relationship consciously knowing that it’s only a casual thing.
Be aware that your partner wants a relationship, but maybe not with you
This might sound too rude, but you have to know that. Everyone needs a long-term companion. Maybe your partner just isn’t ready for commitment, and you appeared as an excellent chance for casual sex from time to time.
On the other hand, your partner might find you physically attractive, but that’s all. In these situations, your character doesn’t play a significant role. Even if you are the hottest person your partner has ever met, that doesn’t mean that you are perfect for something more serious.
For long-term relationships, physical appearance isn’t that important. All in all, everyone is different so the characteristics of a perfect partner can vary wildly.
Also, it’s possible that you came across an emotionally unavailable partner who isn’t ready for commitment even with other people. Since you aren’t someone who can change them, just enjoy casual sex as long as you want and move on when you are ready for something more meaningful.
Don’t spend quality time together
Besides the time you spend together in bed, you shouldn’t do things together. Avoid sleepovers and cuddles, because someone might get hurt. If you send the wrong message, your partner may misunderstand you and expect more than sex.
When you finish intercourse, it’s time to leave. There is no reason to stay and confuse your sexual partner. Avoid awkward situations that may happen if you haven’t set some ground rules.
Don’t leave any personal stuff at your partners’ place
Don’t get me wrong, you can forget your sock behind your hookups’ bed, but try to take your personal belongings as you’re leaving. If you leave a toothbrush at your partners’ place, that might mean two things: first, you want to sneak in slowly and trap your partner into a relationship, and the second, you want to return as soon as possible to see your hookup again. Both situations are wrong.
If you think that you don’t see each other enough, invite your hookup to your place more often. If you continue to act like a fool, you might confuse your partner.
Moreover, don’t get trapped. You might not realize that your relationship is becoming more serious at first.
Respect your partners’ decisions
If your partner decides to keep your relationship a secret, you should respect that. Very often (because of our critically minded society) people want to stay incognito. Fooling around with strangers is still a taboo, so try to understand that.
For the best experience, tell your partner what makes you feel good in the bedroom, but be ready to return that pleasure. Since your relationship is based only on sex, there is no reason to stay silent. If you don’t like something, talk about it. Mutual pleasure is a priority. Ask for everything that satisfies you. Don’t be shy because you knew what you were getting involved in at the beginning of this relationship.
Be comfortable enough to talk about your needs and desires because both of you are here for the same reason.
Maybe you should avoid kissing outside the bedroom because it indicates something more serious. I’m not saying that you should shake hands like business associates, but a simple ”See you soon!” is enough.
Don’t get busy with your friend
Even if sex with a friend with benefits is a common occurrence, you aren’t in a romantic comedy movie. If you start such a relationship with a good friend, you should know that you will lose your friend forever. Starting a sexual relationship with someone you know well, especially with a friend or ex-lover, implies that you have feelings. To avoid difficult situations, run before you get hurt.
Hope that these tips will help you with your future no-strings-attached partners. It’s crucial to follow what your brain tells you because you’ll know where to set the limits. If you are enjoying casual sex, remember that you can’t listen to your heart.
Keep in mind that you are the boss and that you are controlling your life. It’s crucial for you to realize that you aren’t doing anything wrong. Like I said above, just be careful because casual sex relationships also might get complicated.
As long as relationships with no strings attached make you feel great, you don’t have to search for something meaningful. Some people get old without having real relationships, and they mostly say that they wouldn’t change their life for anything.
Even if casual sex relationships don’t comply with critically minded societal standards, you should get into relationships that make you feel comfortable.
If you stand up for your desires, like other people who prefer casual sex relationships, you might change this world.