Although many people don’t see a big difference between casual sex and married sex, they are wrong. Both kinds of sex relationships have their own positive and negative sides, which depends on what you are looking for. Let’s just clear up something first, this has nothing to do with your age. It doesn’t matter how old you are because the most critical factors that impact your choice of sexual relations are your desires.
If you think that you want a relationship based on sex, I can’t judge you. If you are ready for commitment and a meaningful relationship, that’s also your decision, so you can relax and enjoy your choices.
Since people talk about casual sex openly today, let’s assume that this kind of relationship isn’t a taboo anymore. People often choose casual sex partners or one-night stands, which we can include as a kind of subgroup of casual sex, instead of long-term relationships.
It’s evident that there’s a big difference between one-night stands and casual sex relationships, but in the end, neither of these ‘’relationships’’ involve feelings, so let’s put both types in the same category.
The situation is drastically different if we talk about life-long relationships. But the institution of marriage also brings some positive and negative things.
There is no recipe for a perfect relationship. You have to find an ideal partner according to your needs. You can settle down sooner or later, but one is for sure, there is no relationship without difficulties.
Every couple passes through a problematic phase, no matter if we are talking about a casual sex relationship or marriage. That’s why I found advantages and disadvantages linked to both kinds of relationships.
The advantages of casual sex
The most important advantage of casual sex is the fact that you don’t have to think about feelings. When you get involved in a relationship based on sex, you have to eliminate every kind of emotion and try to enjoy your choices as much as you can.
Furthermore, you don’t have to worry about the feelings of your partner because casual sex doesn’t involve obligations. Moreover, you don’t have to explain anything, you can be with other people at the same time, and you can leave as soon as you want after having sex without any explanations.
There are no rules about how long your casual sex relationship will last. If you choose a one-night stand, there is a possibility that you won’t see your partner ever again. But it’s different from casual sex relationships.
Very often, this kind of relationship provides a lot of space for experiments. You can learn a lot about your partners’ sexual habits, but you don’t have to keep up with these habits because you have the right to move on with your life without explanations if something doesn’t suit you.
You can keep your intimate details to yourself
An additional advantage of casual sex is that you don’t have to share details about your personal life. There is no reason for your partner to meet your friends or family. Also, you don’t have to share personal problems, your daily activities or other stuff if you feel uncomfortable.
All your partner needs to know about you is what you want in bed. Your sexual relationship partner is there only to make you feel satisfied. It’s assumed that you don’t have to listen to your partners’ problems as you don’t share yours. A couple that enjoys casual sex from time to time is just two complete strangers having some fun and there is nothing wrong with it.
If you aren’t the type of person that always needs an explanation or a reason that justifies your actions, or if you don’t think about the future but enjoy the moment, casual sex is an excellent option for you.
The disadvantages of casual sex
The conversation might cross the limit after a while
Since sex is usually loaded with various emotions, a casual sex relationship might complicate things much more than you think. If you enjoy occasional casual sex for a while with the same partner, your partner or even you might be looking for some buried answers. Seems like talking always ruins everything interesting, exciting or unknown, or maybe it’s just that good things can’t last for long.
After spending some time in a casual sex relationship, the biggest problem becomes jealousy. Even if it doesn’t seem like that, there’s a possibility that your partner might become interested in your past casual relationships with other people.
If you start to feel stressed because of a casual sex relationship, there is no reason for you to stay. The point of casual sex is that it’s casual, so there’s no space for questions. Questions about previous sexual activities and partners are reserved for long-term couples, not for people in casual sex relationships.
There is no 24/7 availability
Another drawback of a casual sex relationship is that you can’t always rely on your casual sex partners’ free time. You might feel lonely in the middle of the night, but your partner might be busy with another person.
The difficult part of a situation when you want someone here and now but they blow you off because of someone else, besides humiliation, is that it might make you feel anxious. The point is that you have to live with the fact that your hookup isn’t available 24/7.
You might feel cheap
Another problem concerning hookups is that you might feel cheap. If you prefer the casual relationships, you might come to regret it after a while. As the number of your sexual partners rises, you’ll find yourself thinking about how morally justified some of those relationships were. Also, STDs and unwanted pregnancy are the worst enemies of people who frequently enjoy casual sex with different partners. Is it worth the risk?
Since there is no emotional connection, very often people feel empty. If a fulfilling relationship is something that you need more than just fun sexual encounters, then a casual sex lifestyle might not be right for you.
The advantages of sex in life-long relationships
Life-long relationships are here forever compared to casual sex that became more prominent in the Western world in 50’s with the advent of the birth-control pill. Marriage is also a well-established tradition worldwide and most cultures assume that a mature person will get married at some point.
Today, young people mostly enjoy sex before marriage, but most of them decide to get married or stay in life-long relationships after a while. Changing partners and having fun isn’t taboo anymore, but let’s talk about sex in life-long relationships.
After years of fun, people often choose to settle down with one partner. Sometimes they decide to get married, sometimes to stay in life-long relationships. Anyway, every couple has sex. Sex in marriage is different than casual sex.
When you said ”I do” you accepted to be there for your partner in love and friendship, strength and weakness, in success and disappointment. Therefore, you have to be ready to fulfill your partners’ sexual needs.
The first and the most significant advantage of married sex is love. While other feelings are also involved, love is the vital factor for a relationship. Besides rough sex that also happens all the time in long-term relationships, gentler sex full of emotions is something special. Concerning the long-term relationships sex, cuddling, snuggling, and laying in bed after sex with the person you love is just great.
Pleasure and respect
Since sex happens often, you have enough time to learn everything about your partners’ sexual habits. You love each other so your partner will always put their pleasure behind yours. Although married sex also requires respectful behavior, your soulmate will always treat you right.
A life-long relationship also implies trust. Having sex with someone you trust is way different than sex with a stranger. Serious relationship partners talk about everything. You can and should share your problems and concerns with your partner. Sex with a person who understands your needs and knows you best is meaningful and everyone should try it.
Freedom of speech and kinky fantasies
Trying something new with a person you can trust is definitely a big advantage of married sex. Since your partner knows what you like, they can openly ask you about your desires, fantasies and other things that may improve your sex life. While your hookup can do something that you find unpleasant, get weirded out by your suggestion or take things too far, that can’t happen in a life-long relationship.
The disadvantages of sex in life-long relationships
As I mentioned before, marriage sex also has some disadvantages. Every couple has a different point of view when we talk about sex, but one thing is the same – every living being needs sex. You might get used to the story about perfect couples without issues, but that simply isn’t true. Every long-term relationship brings some problems sooner or later, and many of these problems often impact your sex life.
You might get bored
The scariest thing about marriage is that you will sooner or later realize that you have to spend the rest of your life with one person. Of course, you love each other and you are ready to say no to other people, but having sex with one person until the end of your life can seem a bit scary.
After many years of predictable sex with the same person, people get bored. If you aren’t ready to spice up your sex life a little bit, a problem might appear. This problem usually ends with an affair, so hurry up and do something innovative before you ruin all the effort you invested earlier.
You can get stuck in a rut
Repetition of the same sexual habits, day by day also might ruin your relationship. If sex doesn’t happen spontaneously anymore, but you do the same thing by default, you might find your partner stressed and anxious. Day by day, this problem may become magnified and it may also affect other spheres of your relationship. Family and friends also may have a terrible impact on your relationship.
Your sexual activity might decrease over time
For example, something like this can never happen to casual sex partners. After you get bored and stuck in a routine, the amount of sex you have will probably decrease. To avoid this situation that happens to many couples, you have to behave just like at the beginning of your relationship.
A long-term relationship or marriage lasts for so long, sometimes forever, so after a few years, the passion might disappear. Frequent and always different sex can refresh your sexual life, which will have a good impact on both of you.
The impact of daily activities
Since you share everything, it’s normal that, at the end of a day, you’ll talk about everything that happened earlier.
Stressful situations at your job, issues with your friends and family that you shared with your partner, conversations about your children and their problems, and other things that mutual life brings, such as financial difficulties, have a substantial impact on your sexual life.
To eliminate problems like these, try to separate everyday life from your sexual life. Talk in the living room, cool your head a little and then go to the bedroom and enjoy sex because it’s crucial for many essential functions. Don’t let your daily activities ruin your sexual life.
Every problem can be solved. As Abraham Lincoln said, “No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.”
All in all, you can decide to enjoy casual sex with numerous partners, to wait for the perfect one and get married, to get married after many one-night stands or to save sex until marriage. It’s your choice. In the end, we will all get what we want.
No one can judge your decisions because you are a unique human begin and your needs might be different than someone else’s. Every kind of sexual relationship is right for you. The question is what do you prefer?