You put on your best outfit on a Friday night, got all set up for a night on the town, went to the best bar, had a blast, and suddenly woke up with a stranger in your bed. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. And we’re all familiar with the effects of alcohol on our emotions and behavior.
Mistakes happen, poor decisions are easily made, but the next time you decide to go out for a bit more than just a few drinks, do you really want to mix in some casual sex with all that?
Alcohol is fun, sex even more so, but take a look at why you should remember to always drink in moderation when you’re meeting up with your hookup.
Have you ever woken up after a night of drinking confused and anxious, swearing you would never drink again? Well, not until the next weekend rolls around, anyway. The morning after heavy drinking is the absolute worst, and that’s not just because of the hangover. A lot of us feel anxious and depressed afterwards.
Alcohol has a major effect on the brain’s happiness chemicals, and that’s awesome while you’re drinking. It makes you feel good and happy for a while, but the effect wears off by the morning, and you’re left feeling horrible.
You experience feelings of guilt and shame. How many times did “drunk you” do the things that “sober you” would never do? Your sense of what’s right and what’s wrong is impaired, and you don’t really make the best decisions while almost completely blacked out.
All this means your inhibitions are lowered, and if you have casual sex after too many drinks, you’re more likely to regret it in the morning. You might make a wrong choice of partner, you might forget about your boyfriend or girlfriend, you might say something you didn’t really mean to.
So, while sex and a bit of alcohol do make a nice combo, don’t overdrink, you’ll regret it.
Is there a better place to find a good hookup than at a party? Everyone’s having fun, you’re socializing, you’re meeting all those new people…
Alcohol is a social lubricant, and it makes you feel more relaxed and free, you can talk to anyone without any restraints. And it’s more than likely that you’ll find a good person to hook up with.
Many spontaneous sexual encounters take place at the same party where they start. And with so many people there, no one’s going to notice your absence if you go for a quickie in the closet. And that’s all great, it’s unplanned, it’s exciting.
The feeling that someone might catch you doing it makes the whole situation more intense, and you might end up having a great time.
But since these drunken hookups don’t normally happen in the privacy of your own home, this might cause problems for some people. It’s fine if you’re a bit of an exhibitionist, and you don’t care who might see you. But if you don’t want to be seen doing it with your hookup, and you don’t want people talking about it, it’s best not to do it.
Too much alcohol can make you forget about the consequences of your actions, and what seemed like a hot and exciting hookup at the party, might make you want to lock yourself at home the next morning, and never go out or talk to people again.
How many times have your friends had to hold your hair back while you were hugging the toilet? It’s not a pretty sight is it, but that’s what happens when you drink a bit too much. Now you probably can’t even smell the alcohol that made you so nauseated (vodka, anyone?).
So, imagine you’re wasted but still feeling pretty great, maybe your head’s spinning a bit, and you’re in the middle of mind-blowing sex.
Everything’s going well, you and your partner have finally synchronized, you’re moving and bouncing, and then it hits you. You find yourself feeling absolutely horrible in the worst possible moment. It’s a scenario straight out of a horror movie.
I’m sure you don’t want to be that person who barfed on someone’s back, or be the person that was barfed on! Neither is a good position to be in.
And besides, such an unfortunate situation might lose you a good casual sex deal. It’s hard enough to find somebody who’s as into casual relationships as you are, so don’t make it any more difficult for yourself.
Casual sex is something that should make you feel great, not something that makes you cringe as soon as the memory pops back into your head.
Heavy drinking = poor judgement. Poor judgement + casual sex = bad consequences. If the math is correct, you are much more likely to suffer bad consequences after a night of drinking mixed in with some sexy time.
Drinking alcohol makes us live in the moment more, and that sounds nice, “seize the day” and all that. But living in the moment sometimes means forgetting about everything else. This includes forgetting to use protection.
Most would agree that sex without a condom feels much better, for men and women. And after you’ve been drinking, all you think about is pleasure. Studies show that alcohol use leads to unsafe sex. So, in the spur of the moment, you might consent to unprotected sex, and at the moment that would seem like no big deal.
But it is a big deal! Besides unwanted pregnancy, you can contract STDs and STIs. All these things are life-altering, and it doesn’t matter if you’d had unprotected sex just that one time or if you’re in the habit of having sex without using protection.
Part of enjoying casual sex is knowing you’re just in it for a good time, and you don’t have to worry about tomorrow. So, always take precautions to ensure a fun and safe hookup.
Whether you want to have just a one-night stand, or a long-term friends-with-benefits agreement, communication is the key to making it successful. You have to talk about the nature of your relationship, about its limits and boundaries. And you have to talk about sex!
You get to be a bit more selfish in casual relationships, you have more freedom to say what you enjoy doing and what you don’t, you can focus on your pleasure. And in order to do that, you have to speak your mind.
Alcohol makes communication so much more difficult. It’s not just the mumbling and incoherent sentences. You might moan the wrong name, or the sex itself might just be bad and uncomfortable, since we all know the key to good sex is good communication. But these are just minor inconveniences that make for an awkward situation.
What’s worse is that it could happen that you are too drunk to know whether you gave consent. And there could be serious issues and consequences if you cannot communicate “no” to your partner.
There are links between alcohol use and sexual violence, and while alcohol in itself is not the cause of it, it does influence people’s behavior and makes them more aggressive at times.
So, stay on the safe side, drink moderately, and don’t engage in sexual activities if you see your partner is intoxicated.
You Won’t Be Good at Sex if You’re Too Drunk
You’re probably not going to be so coordinated after drinking too much. You tend to slip and fall more, you’re clumsy, your motor skills are not the greatest. And what do you need for good sex? Good coordination. You know what they say – it’s not the size that matters, it’s how you use it.
Well you can’t use it all that well if your vision is blurry, your movements are awkward, and you can’t maintain an erection. That’s right. Heavy alcohol consumption can make it harder for you to keep an erection, and it can also lead to premature ejaculation.
That might not be such a huge problem if you’re in a long-term relationship and you both usually enjoy great sex with each other. But if you’re hooking up with a stranger or an acquaintance, this can make things incredibly awkward.
And you know how dehydrated you get when you drink too much? It’s your whole body that needs hydration, including your vagina. Without proper lubrication, penetration can be super uncomfortable, and even painful at times.
There are Benefits to Having Sex while Drinking Moderate Amounts of Alcohol Though
While drinking too much alcohol can cause erectile dysfunction, a small amount can go a long way, and make your erection harder and more intense. Sometimes it’s even recommended to drink a bit of alcohol if you want to last longer in the sack.
Too drunk and you might never be able to reach an orgasm, man or woman. But if you’re just buzzed enough, you might have the best orgasm of your life. This might be because alcohol makes us feel more relaxed. You can overcome your anxieties and insecurities.
Alcohol can make you feel more comfortable, you can let loose and truly enjoy yourself.
There’s a reason why we have inhibitions, and if you’re feeling uncomfortable having sex with someone while you’re sober, you probably shouldn’t have it while drunk either.
With that being said, lowered inhibitions can be a good thing sometimes. It makes the transition from just talking to making out much smoother.
And with your insecurities now somewhere in the back of your mind, you can forget about the body image concerns and worries about pleasing your partner. You can focus on the present moment and on your own pleasure.
Another fun thing about drinking a bit before sex is that you’re more likely to engage in dirty talk. Dirty talk is often really sexy, but we’re all worried about saying the wrong thing or going too far.
With a bit of alcohol in our system we become more courageous. You can really say what’s on your mind and arouse your partner and yourself with just your words.
Feelings of Attraction
You’ve heard of beer goggles, and you might have dismissed them as an urban legend or just another movie plot. But it’s a thing. When we drink, other people do become more sexually attractive to us. A few studies have shown that people rate others as more attractive after a couple of beers.
Just as alcohol makes us more sociable, it also makes us hornier at times. We become more talkative, we’re more in tune with our sexuality, and we want to feel closer to our partners. Simply put, we become drunk in love.
And just as we see other people as more attractive than when sober, we also see ourselves that way. Alcohol gives us a self-esteem boost. We are more confident, more self-assured, we feel like we can take over the world.
Sex is Fun When You’re Sober
You are so much less likely to have regrets after having sober sex. You won’t feel like you’ve made any particularly bad decisions and you have no reason to feel ashamed. You did want you wanted to, you made a conscious decision to have a good time, and you probably did have quite a good time.
While drinking alcohol can decrease your sensitivity to touch, when you’re sober you can feel everything. Every touch and every kiss becomes sensational and arousing. You know how you feel, and you know what you want to do.
You are fully present both for yourself and for your partner. Nothing’s in your way. You can clearly say what you want and how you want it.
You can take pleasure in every breath you take. Whether your sexual encounter was completely spontaneous, or something you planned for, you’ll be able to enjoy it more because you are completely present in the moment, with your body and your mind.
Sex should be something you remember with a smile on your face, not something you’re trying to forget. Casual sex should always be good and safe, so go ahead and enjoy it fully.