Most people feel that casual sex is awesome since it’s all about fun. Unlike long-term relationships, casual sex provides us with the opportunity to be kinky but not ashamed at the same time. Most importantly, while in a casual sex relationship, you can freely ask your partner for various stuff that will satisfy you behind the closed door of your bedroom, or elsewhere.
Moreover, casual sex can be healthy! Hookups can improve your mood and increase your self-esteem.
Another significant advantage is the lack of feelings, which can keep you from getting hurt in case of a “break up”. But, if you have ever been miserable after your casual sex partner said goodbye, you’re familiar with the fact that things can get more complicated than you expected.
Make sure you really want to get involved in a no-strings-attached relationship
Having casual sex requires a lot of bravery and a sincere desire for exploring. Put simply, casual sex isn’t for everyone. Before you get involved in something unknown, be aware of all the possible consequences. Besides, it can be risky if you don’t remain careful and your mental state may not be stable enough for you to face that kind of a relationship.
The adjective casual /ˈkæʒ·u·əl/ means not serious or careful in attitude; only partly interested.
Adding sex next to casual gives to this term even bigger weight. Now that we learned what casual actually means, it’s on you to make a decision and leave your comfort zone if you are ready, or keep it emotionally safe if you are too scared to try something new. Instead of sharing dilemmas related to your approach to casual sex with your partner, think long and hard on your own.
If your goal is a long-term relationship, then you should forget all about no-strings-attached relationships and continue searching for a soulmate. On the other hand, if you want to have some fun without any obligations, don’t expect anything more because you’ll surely hurt yourself without your partner’s help.
With all possible complications on my mind, I created a mini-guide for casual sex. Applying the following ten tips will help you enjoy real casual sex without involving feelings and ending up with a broken heart.
1. Keep your relationship free of false hope
False hope is the biggest enemy of all casual sex relationship couples. It can kill all the fun and everything that was exciting about your sex adventure. To keep your relationship casual, you should stay mysterious and hold some personal details for yourself.
If you talk to your casual sex partner about your everyday habits if you spend some quality time together or even if you let your partner meet your friends, be sure that your relationship isn’t developing in the correct direction. Every step that includes something more than sex can cause broken hearts. If you get attached emotionally, you’ll ruin your casual sex deal, which leads us to the next tip.
2. Learn how to prevent either of you developing feelings
Mutual sexual attraction is always based on chemistry, which is a purely natural process – the sexual desire is in our nature.
However, we can’t develop serious emotions if we don’t know our partner well enough. Since a casual sex relationship isn’t based on trust and confidence, which are the preconditions for falling in love, feelings can develop only based on your skewed perception of the whole situation.
Your internal desire for being in a life-long relationship can produce fake emotions based on what you imagine. Exaggerating non-existent qualities can break you down if your partner reveals their real characteristics hidden behind your veneer of hope.
The only way to avoid developing feelings is to be rational. No matter what’s going on and what you are expecting from your casual sex deal, be aware that your partner has chosen you only for sex.
3. The lack of respect will cause problems
Although you have chosen each other only based on a physical appearance, that doesn’t mean that you should break the ground rules.
If you are new to the casual sex world, you might misunderstand the difference between one night stands or sex without obligations and sexual exploitation. It’s true that you only want sex from each other, but there must be mutual respect to make it work.
It’s true that this issue can envelop both men and women, but the biggest problem in casual sex relationships with the lack of respect is that women often feel cheap and guilty, while men often see casual sex partners as a trophy. If you don’t treat a woman with respect she can come to regret it, and that’s not the point of a no-strings-attached relationship.
4. Curiosity killed the cat…
As you can guess, this part is about jealousy. If you are suspicious about your casual sex partner, you should stop seeing each other immediately. Possessiveness is the main problem of real couples, but if it appears in a relationship based purely on sex, be sure that there is something more than passion. If you want to take full control of your relationship and even your partner, you’ll ruin your deal sooner than you can imagine.
The main reason for being in a casual sex relationship is the opportunity to see other people freely. A casual sex relationship isn’t a real relationship, which further means that sleeping with other people isn’t a fraud. If you aren’t in a committed relationship, there is nothing to stop you from being open to experimenting with other people.
The same rules refer to your partner, which means that there is no room for jealousy.
5. …But satisfaction brought it back
If you are willing to overcome the jealousy and continue seeing your partner even if you know that they are sleeping with other people, it indicates that you are enjoying a real casual sex relationship. If your no-strings-attached relationship partner can provide you with the required satisfaction, you’ll surely overcome the issues related to your desire to control.
Keep in mind that casual sex relationships are all about satisfaction and that you can ask your partner for various stuff in the bed. No matter how weird or kinky your needs are, your partner should provide you with the highest level of satisfaction, but you should be ready to explore your partner’s sexual fantasies too.
The mutual satisfaction and clear boundaries should always be reminders that you are here to enjoy yourself and have fun, and that life-long relationship can wait for a while. Besides, in case you end your sexual relationship, you won’t regret it, since you had a lot of pleasure together.
6. Keep your intimacy in your bedroom
Spending quality time with your casual sex partner might confuse both of you, so you should avoid it. Since romantic dinners, long walks through the park and cuddling after sex are reserved for real couples, these situations might cause you to develop some emotions or even fall in love. If you send the wrong message, you might hurt your partner too.
Instead of hanging out with your partner, invite your friends over for a movie night. Keep your communication simple and see each other only for sex. That way, you’ll both be clear about your relationship and the lack of possible outcomes in case you stop seeing each other.
7. Never leave any personal stuff at your partners’ place or vice versa
Except it pierces the boundaries of casual sex relationship, leaving personal stuff at your partners’ place might prompt you both to misunderstand the signals.
Since there shouldn’t be any commitment, your toothbrush next to your partner’s might confuse you both. Your partner’s personal stuff at your place might make you feel responsible to invite your partner to your place again and again, even if you don’t want to.
Furthermore, in case you stop seeing each other, the responsibility to return personal items to each other might be another excuse to engage in a hookup again. A casual sex relationship shouldn’t bring any obligations, and that’s why an additional meeting to exchange personal stuff can make things harder.
8. Avoid hooking up with a friend
Having a friend with benefits sounds more attractive than it is. Since being someone’s friend implies a certain level of emotion, be sure that your no-strings-attached relationship differs from a real casual sex relationship. The physical attraction between a couple of friends isn’t unusual, but every single step towards a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship status might upset you even more.
Even if your ‘friends with benefits’ relationship is developing well, get prepared for a difficult ‘break up‘. Always keep in mind that you aren’t the stars of a romantic comedy movie with a happy ending.
9. If you try to define your relationship, get prepared for the worst
In casual sex relationships, according to many people, communication should be handled like any other relationship, but we disagree. We hear from various sources that we should define our relationships with everyone, and have “the talk”, but in the case of casual sex relationships, things are much different.
If a one-night stand grows into a casual sex relationship, you’ll notice the difference, and you’ll be able to define it. However, if you try to define a no-strings-attached hookup and talk to your partner about your situation, the outcome might disappoint you.
Questions like “What are we?” and “Are we a couple?” will prove that you don’t know what’s going on. Besides, your partner might think that you want something more serious, which will undoubtedly be the trigger for interrupting your relationship.
10. Be aware that you might not be the right person for your partner
Since self-criticism might blur your mind, you shouldn’t overanalyze yourself, but you should be aware that your partner might want a relationship, just not with you.
If you are physically attractive and ready to have fun and enjoy casual sex, you are a perfect partner for a casual sex relationship. However, physical appearance isn’t always crucial for starting a long-term relationship. You are your partner’s first choice for casual sex, but that doesn’t mean that you should be in a real relationship.
Let’s go back to the essence of casual sex. As we mentioned, people get involved in relationships based on sex to have fun, and that’s all. If you’ve agreed to such a relationship only to try to develop it into something more serious, you’ve made a mistake at the very beginning.
The bottom line
We can’t entirely disagree that casual sex relationship can develop into something more serious, but we can be sure that such a step can be risky.
Some couples started like casual sex partners, but they obviously had a lot of luck! If you are emotionally unstable and if you can’t control your feelings, you should avoid relationships based on sex because you might hurt your partner or even be left with a broken heart yourself.
If you notice that you have some feelings for your casual sex partner besides lust and passion, run before it becomes too late. The point is to have fun and enjoying sex without any pressure, which leads us to the next conclusion: leave your comfort zone and follow your head instead of the heart, because your heart might neglect the possible risks and make you vulnerable.
We hope that these tips were helpful and that we’ve changed your approach to no-strings-attached relationships! Wish you a lot of luck with this!